I'm not actively suicidal, I just see no point in living. I don't feel like I'm alive anyway, I'm just existing. I wake up, I go to work, and I try to survive the day before I go back to bed. I have poor social skills, which have gotten me into trouble because I don't really "connect" with others the way normal people do. I have literally no one who knows me. If I were to die no one would notice until a funny smell started coming out of my apartment. I doubt anyone would attend the funeral, since I'm not one of those people who other people secretly like. People just don't know me. I keep to myself like you can't believe it. I was a lot more optimistic 12 years ago. But if 12 years have passed and nothing in your life has changed although you've gone from a little kid to a grown-up, you just know this is pretty much what you're stuck with for the rest of your life.