Seeing a counsellor who doesn't offer an opinion

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Aleth, Sep 9, 2008.

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  1. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    Ok, I went to my doctor and told him I was suicidal and was referred to a intermediary counsellor, and have seen him twice, before being sent on to a psychiatrist in a couple of weeks.

    I feel very dissappointed with the experience so far. They just ask lots of questions, assess, and offer no opinions whatsoever. I found myself trying to guage his response to my problems and came up with nothing.
    I guess, at the very least, I expected some sort of pep talk. Yeah, it wouldn't have counted for much in my mind, but at least I wouldn't have this nagging feeling that he probably thinks I'm a basket-case with no real hope.

    Is this counsellor with no opinions experience normal?
    I've never tried this before and don't really know what to expect.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    He/she is probably doing an assessment for the shrink (psychiatrist) and ergo will not offer an opinion.
    The experience can be a bit like talking to a brick wall, but wait, you will soon have the joy of a therapist who doesn't say anything :laugh:
    Once sat in silence for 45 minutes with my therapist...he broke before I did :tongue:
    Tho seriously sometimes silence is the best way to get to the heart of whats going on, you tend to want to fill the silence so will let slip more than you realise.
    Stick with it. :hug:
  3. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    You're probably right. I'm still feeling really really unsure about doing this whole psych thing, and am trying to make some sense of what the whole point is, and not perhaps just an exercise in futility.

    Jeez, that sounds godamn awful. :eek:hmy:
    The guy did the silent thing a few odd times with me, and seemed to be thinking hard about something or other. I interrupted him whenever with a "what are you thinking?" question. I can't stand just sitting there squirming in silence.
  4. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    Sitting in silence is discomforting, i experience that unsettling feeling.

    some counsellors just allow you to vent, so they don't say much.

    good luck and hopefully you will encounter someone who will be more than a sounding board.
  5. abyss

    abyss Well-Known Member

    in truth, tho it may not seem like it, it can be much more of a blessing to have them offer no opinion if they are not sure then having the freshman lineup try to field the tough ones. my health care provider had me see 5 different people, some with too few credentials and too little time out of school for my taste and everyone of them had a possible diagnosis.

    'maybe you're depressed, i see it runs in your family.'
    'maybe you're bi-polar, here read up on it.'
    'i think its possible you're schizophrenic, let me ask you some more questions'

    for someone already on the edge, the thought of having all that wrong with you is pretty tough to take. kudos to your docters for having the self-control to not just blurt out to you every possibility and wait for all the results to be tallied first.

    hang in there, groundwork takes an eternity when you need help, but its usually worth it in the end.
  6. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I had the silence one too once. Because I recon the guy couldn't think of anything to say, so I thought well you went to school on how to learn to talk to people so its your job to fill the silence. So I just watched my foot tapping the carpet until he broke the silence (I won!!). He even asked me the same questions twice!! Never went back to see him again. He called me an "active resister"!!!
  7. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    LOL :rofl:

    Aleth: The just one "proper" procedure is indeed quite long, such as "I_EAT" - Intake (your name, your identity, and so on), Evaluation (is this person imiminently suicidal, a threat to themselves or other, etc.), Assessment (what seems be the problem; i.e. is this person schizophrenic, depressed, and so on), and finally-- FINALLY Therapy for what ails you.

    Me, I balk at paying $70 per half an hour for a some kind of staring contest or to see who can hold out longest w/out speaking or even inquiring. That's just getting paid for doing nothing IMO.

    Look - you said, "I guess, at the very least, I expected some sort of pep talk. Yeah, it wouldn't have counted for much in my mind, but at least...."

    You want to know that you're not just a case-load number to processed, that you are being viewed as a unique person who's in pain -- not just part of some therapists eight-hour workday.

    Am I close?

    That said, I most certainly understand but the conselor(s) would have been behaving irresponsibly to offer any opinion at this stage. An acknowlegement of your pain and anguish, yes--they could and should have done that.

    Look, just follow this slogging (I know it may seem slow) process through and give them a chance. One almost for sure - you won't come any worse off for the effort. Ok?

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2008
  8. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    I had the horrible intake appointment today. Now they want to send me to a psych hospital, because they believe I need more intensive care.
    I have to see them again tomorrow afternoon and they let know me the options.
    I'm really balking at the whole idea. I don't want to be "caged." I feel like backing out of the whole thing and just telling them I'm fine now and to leave me alone.
    The problem is I really don't care if I kill myself. I'm trying to get help, with the thought that there is nothing to lose by doing that, but it does all feel rather futile. I've sunk into a much darker place since I made that step, and its harder to be bothered with it all.
  9. jam1e

    jam1e Guest

    Just called my councillor to tell her things are fine and no need to see her so soon. This isn't true, i just feel abit too down to see her if that makes sense.
    I don't think councillors give opinions, they just seem to get you to see things from a different angle.
  10. max0718

    max0718 Well-Known Member

    If you really feel that uncomfortable with the whole idea of a psych hospital, talk to your psych about it. Mine wanted to send me a few months ago, and once I told him how uncomfortable I was with the idea, he backed off. That said, I do think it a good idea if you go.. They are able to prescribe medication that works a lot quicker than the anti-depressants they will give you otherwise. I think I should have gone in a few months ago, as I have also relapsed once again and have become suicidal again. Trust me, you don't want to be in the same situation a few months from now, so don't be scared of the psych hospital. All the best and let us know what you decide.
  11. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member


    As much as I hate to identify with you, the following statement rings SO familiar.

    "I've sunk into a much darker place since I made that step, and its harder to be bothered with it all."

    I too have sunk, and sunk, and sunk. Where I once had vital ZEST (walking eating good, non-depressed) only a year ago, I can barely eat these days.

    I just saw my psych. unusally nonplussed. I was lost for an answer or suggestion of what (drug) to go to next, for I have, remarkably, (that's haha-funny) exhausted the gamout of my own knowledge for treatment.

    Oh, but not him. This guy's seasoned and seen far worse. He chose to ADD Abilify. Now, that a fucking atypical neuroleptic--but you know what? This time man, there was not even a moment's reluctance. No sooner did suggest it this time around did I say, "ok!" LOL

    The metaphors are bountiful... A drownwing man will reach for straws. Any port in a storm will do. So on.

    I am trying to LIVE. I don't want to reach a point at which killing myself seems that last option for relief for this hell. LORD how I now understand the rapt ignorance of saying, "Suicide is selfish."

    OH. My God. That a horrible, horrible thing to say to those living on the outside yet dying on the inside.

    I really have to close hear before I say something really nasty or aggressive in response to these this kind of person. SERIOUSLY--I have to stop this post for that reason.

  12. Aleth

    Aleth Well-Known Member

    Those psych appointments yesterday and today were pretty hard. I just don't feel like trying to be assertive, but had to be to avoid being shoved into hospital against my will. But I got what I want in a sense, rather than being hospitalised 24/7 I'll just go in there for something like 30 to 40 hours a week during the day. That suits me fine, since I still keep my independence while fastracking the psychiatric help. An intense period is better than some sort of 1 hour appointment with a psych every week, which I don't think would do me any good.

    Yeah, what a precious resource our energy and enthusiasm is. When you have it you think it will last forever. But when its gone you don't know how you can possibly ever get it back.
    I had a burst of energy spring last year, managed to drag myself partly out of my deep depression with a volley of changes. But with a few knocks it all quickly came tumbling down and since then I've just spiralled further out of control. Trying really hard to rally yourself in the midst of a depression and failing pretty badly at it is pretty demoralising. It felt like I had used up every last drop of strength.
  13. abyss

    abyss Well-Known Member

    glad you were able to get something worked out that meets your needs. thats really great! keep hanging in there and dont' give up hope. :biggrin:
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