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Seeing events unfold infront of my eyes

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ed., Jan 17, 2010.

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  1. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    I have an exam for my university course in 18 hours. I have done very little preparation for it. I'd had a lot of coursework to do recently so my attention had been focused on that, I then got somewhat lazy at the start of January, I almost left my girlfriend because I couldn't handle her needs and my own at the same time, I tried reading some course material but it just made my head spin and I couldn't breathe, this has never happened to me before.

    A couple of days ago my girlfriends mum died, it was unexpected and a shock to everyone, my girlfriend is a mess, so I need to look after her and be strong for her, again every time I look at notes my head spins, throbs, and I lose my breathe, I then procrastinate, but not your average procrastinating, walking downstairs, then upstairs, then down again and to the basement, then back upstairs, switching off the light, switching on the light, and I don't notice what I'm doing till about 7 or 8 in the evening, and now, it is the 17th and my exam is on the 18th and I am going to fail it, and my work for other modules has been poor, and the lab work for this module I am assuming is terrible, so I will fail this course, and I can't continue it if I fail it, I can't repeat a year as I already had to do extra work last year, this is the second course I have started, I don't know what the hell my problems is.

    I will fail, I will need to get a job, I will no longer be able to live at my house, I will have to go back to where my parents live, I won't see my girlfriend, I don't think I'd want to see her, I don't think I'd want her, I can't move back in with my parents, but I couldn't afford to live anywhere else, I won't be able to handle it, I'll keep drinking, I'll become everything I hate, there'd only be one solution, it seems trivial, it seems pathetic, it is pathetic, I am pathetic, I'm not superman, everybody wants something.
     
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hi Ed,
    I wrote you a PM so please check your box. I have done the same thing you have by putting myself in a corner..sounds like you have a lot of anxiety right now, I know i did when I was in your place...well check your PM
    Bambi
     
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