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Seeking any advice! Weird dilemma within...

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I'm posting this because I NEED to get this out! I can't talk to anyone in my life about this, it would be way to embarrassing! [deep breath in] here goes...

Okay, short background story:

I have a little problem that has lasted my whole life and it is ruining my life. I am at the point of DO or DIE. Part of the reason I believe I'm depressed is that I feel like I have nothing to live for. I have never had a boyfriend. My mom says it is because I am unapproachable to guys. I walk around looking like I have the attitude I could care-less about them.

My weird problem is that I do obsess and fantasize about guys and sex, etc. but the guys are celebrities! Of some type. The latest one being a local hockey player. I feel that is already to much information, but whatever. I've been crushing hard on him since october (5 months) and it is not going away. The only way it does go away is if I see a movie and start crushing on some other celebrity. I know, it sounds like I'm 13 but I am 21. And don't start thinking I'm immature for my age... there are underlying issues here that would take to long to discuss.

Problem gets worse: :tongue:

Then last week I went to a hockey game and I got the chance to see him up close in real life! I never realised how possible it is for my dream to become a reality, except for the fact that he probably would never like me. Anyways, since that day I keep devising plans on how I can maybe catch his attention. This is where I need your advice.

The plan: :unsure:

So now that I know how I can catch him in real life, I was thinking that if I got together a little note and a little present, I could maybe get his attention. I don't know if he has a girlfriend already, but I know he isn't married, so I'm technically not doing anything wrong. I'd make the note short and sweet, and write something like "this is just a little something for my favorite guy in the city" and "in case you want to "thank" me, here is my number..." and I'd say that I have no regrets, no matter what he decides to do. I would tell him my name, my age and that I'm a nursing student, which should appeal to an athlete, don't ya think? And the most perfect part of this is the day I would do it... [wait for it...] Valentine's Day!! So something this crazy wouldn't be THAT weird, would it??

Aside from the fact that the chances of him actually calling is very slim, do you think i should try? I feel like if I don't then the chance is 0, but if I do it is like, 0.1. Another reason I want to try is, personally, i do think i have a chance. I know I have a very low self-esteem but i'm kind of optimistic about this. I'm physically fit, I'm a nursing student, I'm thin and with make-up I can be pretty. If he can see these things, don't I have a chance??

Wow, this is a long post and for that I am very sorry! Any advice would be greatful, even if all of you think it is a bad idea. I don't want to look like an ass, now do I?? So please tell me!

Chances are, I'll chicken out at the last second anyway but it feels sooo good to get it out at least.

Those of you who read, please respond!


Staff Alumni
Well, every part of my psyche is screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" but that's all about my stuff. Maybe the question to consider is how you will feel if you don't do it. Will it be something you'll always regret? And how will you feel if you do it and get no response from him (which is probably very likely unfortunately)? Will you feel "ah well, I gave it my best shot" or will it finish you off? Can you cope with the possibility he might see you as some sad fan or whatever?? Sorry to be so blunt, but my instinct is to think not to do it and find some way of meeting guys (ie join a club or something) where you'd have things in common. But if you HAVE to do it and you think you can handle it then good luck!!


Great response, thank-you!

I think i'll regret it for a while and I'll wonder what could have been. It's interesting that you screamed NOOOO there. i laughed. Ahhhh! there is no right answer!!


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Yep, I have to agree with Shygirl on this one. He might think you are some kind of stalker!!!

I think these crushes are because you are ready to meet a guy but have got stuck in the adolescent stage of wanting the unattainable. Thinking this might be because it is safer to love from afar than actually have a real relationship.

Joining a club would be a really good way to interacting with guys on a less formal manner.

But as Shy said if you have to make the attempt to get this guy, then go for it. If it goes pear shaped we're here to help pick up the pieces.

Good luck either way.


He might think you are some kind of stalker!!!
Stalking him. The thought crossed my mind, lol J/K!!! No, I want an actual relationship, not a fantasy one, though it sounds like I do.

If it goes pear shaped we're here to help pick up the pieces.
Awww, thanks!!


Well, it's Valentine's day. I didn't do it of course. I knew deep down that I wouldn't but I really did want to.

It felt good to let it out, to tell someone about what I wanted to do. I sat on the thought of my plan for a week before I actually posted it here and I was going insane. I NEEDED advice but I COULDN'T go to anyone that I actually know.

So thank you Shygirl and Devastated for yours. I really appreciated it! :grouphug:
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