Seeking attention.

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by moogkitz, Jun 9, 2008.

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  1. moogkitz

    moogkitz Well-Known Member

    I never really have thoughts of suicide until something or someone makes me so angry or depressed. Recently, my boyfriend told me he had been cheating on me; we broke up. I wasn't that mad. But I began to think that no one in my life really loved me, that I had no true friends and I was kind of like a "back-up" friend. I ended up wanting to kill myself because I figured I would never have (or be) a true friend.

    Eventually, I got over those suicidal feelings. However, another thing happened today. My mom was being a bitch about my hair (she always is). Tomorrow is supposed to be my sister's graduation. I didn't want to go to the graduation or my sister's cookout with my hair looking a mess! But, my mom took out my extensions and now my hair looks really short and I don't like it one bit. I told my mom she's ruining my life and she doesn't own me - it's not like I asked to be her daughter, you know? I don't need her controlling every bit of my life. I figured that I couldn't take anymore of my mom controlling everything I do. (I'm not a submissive person. I don't let people tell me what to do (sometimes)). And now, I just don't want to live. However, a part of me wants to, but I want my mom to actually see how much of an impact her ways and her attitude have on me. I just want to get her attention. I'm trying to find a way I can get her attention - I've been thinking of ways to get me in the hospital or something, so people can take pity on me. I'm so lost right now, I don't know where my life is going, because other people are controlling it.

    tl;dr How do I get my mom's attention and tell her how miserable she's making me?
  2. derbygirl

    derbygirl Chat and Forum Buddy

    Hey hun,

    I can empathise with the feelings of being "back up friend", I too feel that none of (the very few) friends I have truly like or appreciate me.

    As for trying to gain your mum's attention, try talking to her or even write her a letter. Self harming or doing something drastic to end in hospitalisation will only cause greater problems for you: these actions become "addictive" and you find that you resort to these actions more often, until it consumes you.

    Im not sure how old you are, but im assuming you're quite young. SOmetimes it feels as though people are controlling your life because of this reason, your mum may not be even to accept that you are a young adult and dont need her constant imput (which is rather negative im guessing). To get her to treat you as the mature person you want to be seen as, talk about your feelings and ask her to be non judgemental, as it doesnt help you. Also, try not to be accusatory towards her when she makes comments that you dont like or disagree with; acknowlege the comment and calmly talk about it to her.

    Im writing this according to what you wrote in your post, tell me if im veering off the direction your heading.

    If you want to talk to me, feel free to PM me, I'll give you my email address (msn) if you wish.

    I hope things get better for you...
    Take care..

  3. Clockwork Reality

    Clockwork Reality Well-Known Member

    You should probably just tell your mom how you really feel. If she shuts you down, send her an e-mail or write a letter. Find other ways to get her attention but harming yourself to do that is going to turn out much, much worse for everybody in the long run.
  4. mdancey

    mdancey Member

    Hi honey,

    I agree with the advice you have received so far and would like to add that if after talking with your mom and or writing her a letter and not getting the result you need how about going to another adult. Your school guidance councilor could be a good start and possibly your family doctor as well......someone you trust, someone who can help your mom see how she is making you feel.

    Sometimes us moms need to be hit over the head. We get busy with other children, and don't often see the signs for what they are.

    After re-reading your post and all the replies I'm thinking that maybe writing all of your thoughts down might be the best thing. That way you can say exactly what you want to without being interrupted by any of the possible things that could. That way you can write and re-write if you feel the need until you have written down exactly how you feel.

  5. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    Have you thought about how YOUR attitude effects your mother? I completely understand not feeling up to do things, although i'm depressed to some degree most all the time. Instead of talking and explaining how you feel, and why you felt like missing your sisters graduation you probably seemed like a careless brat. Its a big day for someone in your family and I don't think your mum understood why you were down.

    I don't know how old you are (your posts have me curious) but I think the best thing you can do is tell your mum you need to have a talk, and you need her to listen to what you are saying. might help you some to ask her to JUST listen and no respond until you're done but I dunno.

    Becoming an attention seeking person who crys wolf will only make you look bad and become more misunderstood. If you are only suicidal when people anger you or you don't get what you want, try stepping back, and maybe learning to cope in another way. Have you looked into counseling?
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