Seeking help only makes it worse

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Breathe, Jun 13, 2009.

  1. Breathe

    Breathe Well-Known Member

    I cut last night after 3 weeks of happiness, i dont regret it i needed a major release fo the pain, sadness and terror that was placed on me.

    My dad came home and me and my brother soon disappeared into our own rooms because already my dad had made snide remarks when i told him i had a hard day at college. According to him i dont know what hard work is.
    My brother had forgotten to empty the bin after filling it and things turned bad to ugly when my brother tried to lie about it wasnt him. my brother tried to calm my dad down as he did the chore under my fathers frightening figure but my father was upset with this show. He threatened my brother, shouting at him names and saying he was going to hit him. which he did. my brother tried to scrurry away pleading and sobbing for my dad to stop as my dad kicked him (not hard though) in the back. i ran out of my room, i have always been protective of my brother, and shouted at the top of the stairs for my dad to stop hitting him, to stop yelling at my brother he was just a kid. My dad turned on me. He didnt hit me but i was shit scared when he started coming towards me shouting at me. He pushed past me and went into my room lookign for little things he could yell at me about. He turned for my brother again but i managed to get between them and my dad stormed off downstairs, crashing about.
    I texted our older sister for help and comfort. i was shit scared, sobbing and shaking, my brother had disappeared into his room, quiet. She ratted me out, told my mother what i wrote who came home and took my phone and laptop because i lied apparently and used them to get help. According to her rant i am a ungrateful bone idle emo loner and if this happens again she will personally send me to a insitution and my brother into care. Family love eh?

    I am scared in my own home. I dont know what to do. If it wasnt for my brother (he is 14) i would of either run away or killed myself by now but i dont want to leave him to deal with the brunt of this.

    Its morning now. Woke up to my father calling me a lazy bone idle idiot. They have gone out that is why i have snuck on the computer. Without even asking what i had planned today my parents had already made up their minds that i was planning to do no chores therefore i deserved another rant, a few more names and such.

    Sorry for this rant... i am just confused and lost at the moment. lol only one friend knows of the abuse i get at home, he says i should call childline because this emotional, verbal and physical abuse is not right. Is he right? It jsut seems like my fault, growing up i have been told over and over that the reasons my parents have arguments is because of me, so if my parents hate us its my fault again? I am meant to go out and buy a father's day present but i dont think i have it in me to write a happy message and buy a loving gift for that bastard.
  2. NotSureAnymore

    NotSureAnymore Well-Known Member

    :hugtackles: -Gives ya the biggest hug I can give ya!-

    Words cannot express how upset I just got when I read your post. I'm upset and sad at the same time.. because your parents are suppose to be there for you. Children shouldn't be suffering by the abuse of their family.

    And from the outside looking in, I totally agree with your friend. You have to somehow tell someone else about this kind of abuse/sickness in your family. Either child services or someone outside of the family that can do something to help you and your family. xxx
  3. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    That's terrible :( You need to seek help, no one should be treated that way.