Yea, well if anyone remembers me I was accepted into a little program that was gonna (i hoped) turn my life around. It was til they were goign to force me on a diabetic insulin regime which was gonna leave my blood sugar at high levels for a week, because I had been having a bunch of low blood sugars (almost entering coma). And well I def didnt want to walk around(or not walk aroudn due to lack of energy) . So I kinda freaked out. I don't know it just felt like my diabetes was out of control and no matter how hard I tried to keep it in check, something always came up. Which lead me to a state of hopelessness which in turn pushed me to a place I didn't want to go. I def didn't want to leave that place, was finally making friends and having fun. So attempted agian, with a lot more lethal dose than I did in my last two attempts, and before it started kicking in I changed my mind since I haven't seen my baby brother lately. Then they kicked me out of the program since their expertise wasn't in the area dealing with suicidal behavior. Which I knew going into it, but when that little voice told me "just calm down and get their perspective" I ignored it and went to despair and hopelessness. Just wished I didn't do it, cause I did feel like the program was gonna help me. So now I'm back to where I was 4 months ago.