Seems I'm back :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Neverhappyalwayssad, Nov 8, 2009.

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  1. Neverhappyalwayssad

    Neverhappyalwayssad Well-Known Member

    Yea, well if anyone remembers me I was accepted into a little program that was gonna (i hoped) turn my life around. It was til they were goign to force me on a diabetic insulin regime which was gonna leave my blood sugar at high levels for a week, because I had been having a bunch of low blood sugars (almost entering coma). And well I def didnt want to walk around(or not walk aroudn due to lack of energy) . So I kinda freaked out.

    I don't know it just felt like my diabetes was out of control and no matter how hard I tried to keep it in check, something always came up. Which lead me to a state of hopelessness which in turn pushed me to a place I didn't want to go. I def didn't want to leave that place, was finally making friends and having fun. So attempted agian, with a lot more lethal dose than I did in my last two attempts, and before it started kicking in I changed my mind since I haven't seen my baby brother lately.

    Then they kicked me out of the program since their expertise wasn't in the area dealing with suicidal behavior. Which I knew going into it, but when that little voice told me "just calm down and get their perspective" I ignored it and went to despair and hopelessness. Just wished I didn't do it, cause I did feel like the program was gonna help me.

    So now I'm back to where I was 4 months ago.
  2. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    :hug: we all have set backs..
    but it's great that you came to Sf, instead of being all off and alone.
    i hope we can help you in some way :hug:

    Here if you need someone
  3. happyville

    happyville Well-Known Member

    Like the above ^ said - we all have setbacks. The trick is to not let them own us and to keep trying to improve anyway. I know it's easier said than done.
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    yeh we all sabotage help at times. Can your doctor try a different program for you. Glad you came here for support don't be to rough on yourself okay we all do things we regret later.
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