Seems like it's either me or it's Mom

[Tiredofit]

I haven't been able to get rid of my suicidal feelings for the past few months. It all started after I was unable to continue college because I couldn't afford to pay for a $600 rent by myself, after my room mate moved out. After I came home, and realized how much of a piece of shit this place is I became really suicidal. I am stuck living with my Mom. No it's not a choice, I am stuck. She plays these head games with me making me believe that I can't even leave the house to visit friends. Just have to sit here playing the computer all day. I go to my grandmothers to take a shower, I come back and she's on me like an interrogator asking me everything they said. My brothers were my best friends... but she pushed them out the door so many times they moved to Alberta. Now the only person I've got for a friend is my weed dealer.. sadly enough. My mom snorts pills. When she has them she says it puts her in a good mood, but since I'm depressed I usually don't say much. Since I don't say much she tries to peer pressure me to take the pills. She does it all the time, if I won't take the pills, even though I'm trying to quit smoking weed she'll call someone and get him to bring me a joint... and pressure me to smoke that. When she doesn't have to her pills she lies on the couch all day.. sick from withdraws I suppose.

Now I know Mom has also had suicidal thoughts, and I have tried talking to her.. but it's hard considering I also have no will to live. I feel like I am trapped here, and suicide is the only way out. What should I do?

 

[Sadeyes]

Hoping you are feeling better...maybe there is a way for you to get supportive services that can help you find a way to live your life and still be there for your mother...big hugs, J

 

[shades]

Why doesn't your mom want you to leave the house? Is she frightened of being alone? Have you discussed it with her?

I take care of my mother and live in her house. We have had several arguments...but she actually tries to get me to go out more, even though I feel bad leaving her. I can only get out for about 4-6 hours at a time, before she needs food or pills or something.

I know it's not the same, but maybe you could pm me about this if it drops off the board. I have a lot of experience in dealing with my mom. Maybe i could work with you on it.

Also, I'm quite depressed myself, as you could imaginge, which is why I'm here!

Try to find out exactly what she expects of you, to begin with.



Mike

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Are you able to talk to a member of family like a aunt or uncle about this? Perhaps they can help you in some way.

Also what is happening in regards to college? Are you going to go back.