Seems like this will be my destiny

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by AJE, Mar 18, 2016.

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  1. AJE

    AJE Well-Known Member

    Feel so useless, without my wife I just don't want to exist.
    She has treated me far worse than any other women I've ever been in a relationship with but still she has affected me like no one ever could.
    Why she is still so very deep in my heart I don't know but she is.
    Logic says hate her guts but I don't & never will whatever the future brings.
    In my head suicide proves to her that I truly loved her, sounds crazy I know but that's what I see.
    I died because I love you.
    The ultimate show of love,
    I'm not mentally ill, it just feels that's my proof to her that she is/was my world.
    A life with someone else would just be a lie to that person & everybody else because my heart is & always will be with my beautiful Justine.
  2. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    I understand that feeling. It's why I was last in hospital... But, it doesn't prove that. What it does is show that you're weak. It shows that you don't have what she wants.

    Even though my relationship is now over, she did come back. Why? Because I stopped all contact and stopped showing myself to be weak. Then when she came to see me she saw the person she first loved.

    Suicide will do nothing for your memory shell have of you.

    Getting strong and not letting her know that you're suffering will help though.
  3. AJE

    AJE Well-Known Member

    It's been 2 months since any communication & she's a strong willed person.
    She always said I never fought for her, she believes I'm sure that I don't love her.
    I do, with every part of me.
    I have thought of being strong & posting happy positive stuff on Facebook but all I've done is deactivate my account.
    Her account shows nothing too but it still says she's married so I'm a bit confused.
    She's the sort of person who would change that straight away.
    I don't know what's going on in her head
    Thanks for the advice Lestat
  4. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Time is all you need. I know those thoughts... We don't know what they're thinking. I thought my ex was out partying and doing whatever... When we talked I found out she wasn't. She was just working on herself.

    Get strong. Improve yourself. Then if she contacts you you'll be attractive and she'll be impressed. She won't see a depressed person who's suicidal.... I don't think many women would find that attractive.

    Read a few books on breakups and getting your ex back. Or just improve yourself.... Unless you don't think it's worth it? If you do... Prove it to her.
    AJE likes this.
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