Feel so useless, without my wife I just don't want to exist. She has treated me far worse than any other women I've ever been in a relationship with but still she has affected me like no one ever could. Why she is still so very deep in my heart I don't know but she is. Logic says hate her guts but I don't & never will whatever the future brings. In my head suicide proves to her that I truly loved her, sounds crazy I know but that's what I see. I died because I love you. The ultimate show of love, I'm not mentally ill, it just feels that's my proof to her that she is/was my world. A life with someone else would just be a lie to that person & everybody else because my heart is & always will be with my beautiful Justine.