Self destruct mode

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Alexisb95, Mar 28, 2016.

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  1. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    I need to talk to someone, I know it should probably be a GP or a professional but I'm too frightened of what they might say. I got diagnosed with depression four months ago and it feels like a battle I can't win. Around 2 weeks ago I split up with my partner that I had been with for just under a year, we worked together so I ended up walking out of work in the middle of the night and walking 4 miles home. I've booked a holiday for myself, never been abroad by myself and I think that's where I'm going to try and commit suicide. I just haven't worked out a way to do it yet, I just know I can't go home after my holiday. It feels like I have nothing and this is my only option. I also smoke a lot of cannabis, I know this Is a depressant but it's the only thing that gives me some form of break from my thoughts. Any advice would be great, thanks!
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to the forum. You are among friends and people who really care about what you are going through. At the moment, you felling scared but the ones who really understand your pain, are the ones who suffer everyday.

    I plead with you, from the bottom of my heart, that you reconsider any decisions you are thinking about. Yes, the relationship you had is causing you pain and no doubt you are crying your eyes. It's ok to cry as it releases the pain from within. I know your hurting but you making the right move.

    Please go on holiday, as you have been working hard, it will help you recollect your thoughts. You need to see a GP and explained what's happened. You might be offered medication which on average takes six weeks to kick in. I know every day is harder coping on your own is not nice. Please be reassured we can help you, as we are a supportive group of people who really care about anyone suffering alone.

    Just think, I sit here and it saddens me to think you are hurting and have no one to talk to about the pain you feel. You cannot deal with it on your own as we here to help others like you to see that life very important and THAT ALSO MEANS YOU.

    Just, think I walk this earth, like you knowing you are hurting and with the wonders of technology, I am able to help you in your hour of need. Please reconsider the options and let us here help you. We are judges but compassionate people who care about YOU.

    Remember , everyone has a breakdown in their life and it's nothing to be worried about. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU.
     
  3. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    I've been given tablets and been back to the GP and they doubled the dosage of the tablets but I don't think they're working anymore. Thanks for your help
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    i am very sorry , as I meant to say. WE ARE NOT JUDGES BUT COMPASIONATE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUY YOU.

    The medication will take some time to kick in and you have to be strong. Do you parents know your are hurting. You cannot deal with this on your own. Please speak to GP and see a therapist about aniexty. Perhaps you need to take a therapy course on CBT.

    You have to be strong which is hard but we can help you. Keep talking as we are here to listen and try our best to help you.
     
  5. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    I've been on the medication for a while now. It works for a little while then seems to stop. I can't see a GP until after my holiday and I'm worried it might be too late by then
     
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Hi there. I am sorry to hear how you feel.

    Can I ask you why you can't see a GP until after your holiday? You might need to have your medication altered, perhaps you need something different?

    If you're really worried about your own wellbeing and can't get an emergency appointment with your GP can you call a psych ER? I had to do that some weeks ago and they were really nice there. Please do not allow yourself to give up. It does get better, but sometimes you need a little help to get there *hugs*

    Please be kind to yourself. You deserve that hun. You really do!
     
  7. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    Hello thanks for your reply. I go on holiday at 6am tomorrow and I haven't been able to get there over the bank holidays. I guess I just needed to talk to someone and let it out. What is a pysch ER? Hope you're feeling better too x
     
  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    a psych ER is a place you can go if you're unwell mentally, especially if you worry you might commit suicide, they can also help you with medication... that's what they did for me. Please do not give up hun. There's help to be had!

    *hugs*
     
  9. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    and they are open 24/7 as well, hun.
     
  10. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    I don't really understand what it is, is it like a clinic or somewhere you stay?
     
  11. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    it's an ER, for mental emergencies... they have doctors and therapists there who are ready to evaluate and treat you every hour of the day. You can even call them without having to go in as well. Do you want to PM me your country perhaps, then I could look up something for you?
     
  12. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    Ah I see what you mean. Yes please. I like in the UK. Thank you so much
     
  13. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    This is the number for the UK Lifeline. They could help you, and should also be able to help you on in the system if you need that;
    Phone: 0808 808 8000
     
  14. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    Thanks a lot x
     
  15. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I hope you get the help you need hun, you deserve it!

    Take good care of yourself!
     
  16. Alexisb95

    Alexisb95 Member

    You too! Thanks again for your help x
     
  17. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Anytime hun! And know you always have a place to talk about things here when it gets tough!
     
  18. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Please stay strong as you are important. We care about YOU.
     
  19. Lestat

    Lestat Well-Known Member

    Hey, I'm going through something very similar, it's hard. Just know that it's very normal to be depressed when a relationship ends. Thats what I'm told anyway.

    When you're depressed you feel like this. Things can improve though... I know that sounds very easy for me to say... But, it can. When a relationship ends it's more like a death. That relationship is dead and it's hard to accept. Look up the stages of grief. They are very normal to feel.

    I have been in bed for three weeks now... Barely left my house and I've had the worst anxiety of my life. I'm sure you can relate... Don't think I'm belittling you by saying what I did above because I feel shit. I feel very similar to you... I just know that one day I'll feel ok.

    If you fancy a chat let me know.
     
  20. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Alexisis, why not use this holiday to think about things in a healthy way, a break away might help. I think you can get through this safely. Please try and put the cannabis use behind you, it isn't helping the situation obviously, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I am always around. Your life matters and you are important, treat yourself with care and love.
     
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