For some reason I am in a self destructive mindset. I am thinking of specific ways of suicide, which is rare for me anymore. I know that some of this feeling could be lessened through SI, but I am trying to avoid that now. This was set off when I realized how much some people in my family will subtlety tear me down. I have lived with it and have accepted it as being true throughout my life. Once I began to see this better my self destructive urge kicked off. Sometimes seeing things more clearly can be dangerous.