****TRIGGERING*********** I am James and I was raped as a six year old. As soon as I started suffering extreme flashbacks I started to cut myself. Sometimes I would make small deep cuts that really hurt. Other times I would make long cuts up and down my body. The only place on my body that isn't scarred is my face, my groin, and my feet. When I look in the mirror I feel comfortable seeing my scars. I look at the naked parts of my skin and want there to be a red line in those parts too. But then I ask myself why I'm interested in cutting myself open for scars, and a funny idea pops in my head: Now nobody will be interested in getting me and I'll be safe. Like an animal low on the food chain, I've set to changing my appearance so as to warn predators that I shouldn't be bothered with; that I am not the little boy they're interested in. I feel really frightened sometimes, but I found it's better to just talk about what you're feeling to others. Instead of being frightened or annoyed when people point out your scars or signs of erratic behavior, just tell the truth. It helps you feel better because people are both curious and friendly. Even strangers don't like to see other people really suffering. Plus, it's helps rid the world of "emo" taboos and also helps bring awareness to the suffering in the world. And ... you sometimes get hugs from pretty girls.