Self Esteem Issue..

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Xistence, Apr 4, 2008.

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  1. Xistence

    Xistence Well-Known Member

    I know that one of the main reasons I am suicidal is my self esteem issues.
    I think of myself as being really ugly, and I am overweight.

    Does anyone know of any ways to quickly lose weight? I don't care if it is a dangerous way or not.. I just want to lose weight fast. If you don't want to post it here, can you pm it to me? I need this.. :sad:

    Maybe then some of the thoughts will back down. :unsure:

    Really sorry if this doesn't go here... :sad:
  2. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    Realistically, if you have bad feelings about yourself it will be very very hard for you to ever lose weight. One of the biggest problems with low self-esteem is that we put certain requirements on our happiness -- we tell ourselves, "if I accomplish this goal, then i can feel good about myself". But it's a false reasoning, because the strength to accomplish our goals can only be found if we are happy with ourselves.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't lose weight. There are many good reasons to do so. But none of those reasons should be to feel better about yourself. If you set requirements on your happiness, you will never have it. You need to learn to love yourself first, then you will find your other problems far more manageable.
  3. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry Xistence, you feel so badly about yourself. But just imagine if we have been trained and conditioned to hate ourselves. When we look at ourselves in the mirror, and say we are ugly because we are comparing ourselves to a standard of beauty that is not even real; just fabricated, it is no wonder we hate ourselves. But just imagine if this was a lie brought on by false standards of beauty because these standards are manmade, and the corporate world is milking this conditioning to make people feel shitty so we can buy their products. Just imagine how different you would feel about yourself if these messages were removed from the airways? You are not alone in this awful war between the beautiful people and the ugly people. It is an illusion. We have been conditioned. God did not make ugly people. It's people that label other people as ugly that is the culprit here, and we are buying into it. Please think about this. I know you can't get rid of years and years of conditioning, but maybe it will open a small window of doubt that you are what people are telling you you are. You are a child of God, and God DOES NOT CREATE UGLY PEOPLE. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN UGLY PERSON.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 5, 2008
  4. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    there are really no good ways to quickly loss weight. begin to exercise, take it slowly. everyone in the gym started at some place and worked their way to how the are now. I've never been to a gym were most of the people weren't really nice to me and supportive. good luck, also remember you are what you eat so try and eat more greens and fruits too!
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey, i lost a bunch of weight over the last two years; 80 pounds total.

    i kept it simple:

    1. i threw away the weight scale and only weighed in at the gym once a week. that helped me focus on the larger goal, not on day to day or even hour to hour gains or losses according to the scale

    2. i joined a gym and went three times a week. i hired a personal trainer for one of the three times a week gym workouts. she helped keep me motivated, worked me harder than i would have worked myself, and encouraged me when my spirits were down. she also looked at my diet and helped me tweak it so that i was never hungry, but still eating a healthy, balanced diet. for instance, being from new york i loved to have a bagel with cream cheese in the morning. well, that turned out to be something like 800 calories, so we dumped the bagel and i substituted other things.

    you *can* do it but you have to approach it with a healthy mind. i agree with peacegirl, there is no such thing as ugly. it's better to lose weight with love for yourself in your heart, otherwise the reasons you are overweight will resurface and you will sabotage your weight loss.

    good luck!
  6. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    Losing weight is one of those things that can be achieved only through strenght and motivation. If you start losing weight, you'll become to see results, and that will make you more motivated
  7. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    The best way, and probably the only way (apart from liposuction and starving), to lose weight is exercise. It sounds like a daunting task but the nice thing about a healthy lifestyle is that it's self-motivating. Doing these things makes you feel like you're working hard for something you want, it makes you feel good about yourself, that you can get things done if you set your mind on them, a whole slew of reasons. And hey, it'll make you better looking to boot. When I first time I started jogging I blacked out, I was that out of shape. The second time I threw up. The third time I felt like throwing up but didn't, and it got better from there. You do need a goal though, something that will motivate you when you feel like giving up, it takes a large amount of effort and will to not throw in the towel. My reasons were shallow vanity and being sick of being lonely but it's different for everyone. Just imagine being able to buy a quick muffin at the local gas station, flirt with the cute cashier and see her embarrassed smile. I don't know, I'm pretty shallow when it comes to things like that but maybe you're more noble a person.

    Contrary to popular belief, loving yourself right off the bat is not the answer. Every belief we have is fueled by some sort of reasoning, something that assures us that that belief is valid and we should believe it. When you're constantly treated like crap and women avoid intimacy with you like the plague a man would have to be pretty daft to wholeheartedly believe that he is perfectly fine the way he is in the face of heaping piles of evidence supporting the contrary. He would be perfectly fine if his opinion was the only one that mattered, in many cases it is, but when you're looking for companionship and improving your self esteem, the way you present yourself to the world is a major factor.

    I think your wanting to lose weight is a great start, Xistence, and I think it will do wonders for both your confidence and your self esteem as you keep going.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey Xistence, I once lost 2 stone in 6 weeks using the one meal a day diet. It needs a lot of motivation to stick to it. You basically just eat one meal (lunch) which consists of protein and vegetables, e.g a small piece of fish or chicken with steamed veggies. During this diet you must drink 8 glasses of water each day to stave off hunger and you should chew gum during the day to prevent hunger. The first 3 days of the diet are the hardest, if you get to day 4 you will probably make it to the end:biggrin: The pounds will fly off on this diet. Also, it's not a good idea to exercise while on this diet because the combination of eating way less and exercising more is dangerous.

    Good luck!
  9. A_Loser

    A_Loser Well-Known Member

    You gotta be friggin shitting me:blink:
  10. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey, i agree with peace_girl

    we are all beautiful. it's all in how you look at it....
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    'You are beautiful, no matter what they say...(Christina Aguilera).' Wise words indeed. Remember that we are all unique individuals no matter what the media or anyone else says. We are all beautiful people in our own special ways. Ok, maybe we all don't look like celebrities and models, but who cares? I have never cared what anyone ever thought of me, and that has helped to prevent depression. Love yourselves for who you are guys. :hug:
  12. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    hmmm. can't say no more.
  13. Ugly

    Ugly Active Member

    You think your ugly? I know I'm ugly

    There a huge difference. I have lot of confidence but I'm ugly and u can't practice being good looking
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