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Self esteem

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Cagla, Feb 11, 2018.

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  1. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    How can I boost my low low lowwwww, nearly absent self esteem, if possible..maybe?
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Do you want to say what has made your self-esteems so low?

    Often people with low self-esteem feed themselves negative messages. Learning to recognize that this is what you are doing, and to counter that, is often a great step toward changing your self-image for the better
    Cagla likes this.
  3. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    thanks for caring for answering...umm I don't exaggerate , I literally cannot do anything properly except reading. Nothing. Short and simple..
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    This is not true. A quick review of some of your previous posts reveals that

    You can use a computer
    You can get online
    You can upload an avatar picture
    You have great visual aesthetic taste (I love the flowers and water in your avatar pic)
    You write well
    You think, reason, and comprehend well
    You are polite
    You are good at listening
    You are good at showing empathy and compassion
    You are good at encouraging others
    You are good at advising others
    You are good at consoling others
    You are able to love deeply

    So it's clear that you are able to do a lot of things really well. There are probably a lot of other things that you do well too, this list of things that you do well is just based on the limited information that I've gathered so far.

    I see every reason why you should have very high self-esteem, not low.

    It sounds to me like an abusive person who wanted to tear you down gave you some very negative messages about yourself, which you internalized.

    Learning to understand, both in your head and your heart, that these negative messages were false, and countering them with positive truthful messages can be a path to raising your self-esteem.

    Cognitive behavioral therapy might be a good thing for you to try. I think there are also some resources for learning about CBT techniques both online and in books.

    You are actually a wonderful person Cagla, it's just that you don't realize it yet.
    Unknown_111, Alwayswrong and Cagla like this.
  5. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    Saying positive things about yourself helps some people
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  6. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    hey..thank you, it was beautiful ...
    may71 likes this.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Seeing a therapy can help boost your self esteem. Talking to yourself in positive quotes and word of wisdom can help too. Feed yourself positivity :)
    Cagla likes this.
  8. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    I try but a stronger bad thought always knows how to come..it is like a horror train, it goes worse and worse. This train will stop some day I hope. Thank you friend..
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    There is a book many psychiatrists recommend and I have read it and just bought another copy, its called ''feel the fear and do it anyway''. It's to boost your self esteem and confidence and let go of anxiety and other stressers, I think you should give it a read, it can't hurt.

    I have low self esteem, therapy helps a bit ... really low, people's comments hurt me, just keep this in mind when you have accepted your flaws no one can use them against you :)
    Cagla likes this.
  10. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    Thank you! :)

    You're welcome! :)
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  11. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    I can relate. Peoples comments, words, a mimic, a gesture, a laughter, everything affects me badly mostly. You had recommended this book, I know. The thing is I am not a native speaker, English is not my language, I don't think I can understand the book thoroughly. If I can find pdf, I will try to read it all. Thank you again for caring for answering. I am sorry, sometimes I feel no one even here cares for... And when you comment or say something I really feel I am better. Ok...I won't cry :) thank you again. I wish you were around me and we could have fun together, it would be really beautiful.. Glad to have you. Thanks <3
  12. Paisley

    Paisley * * * SF Artist SF Supporter

    Seriously?? Reading all of your posts I just assumed that you were. Add second languages to the list of things you're good at.
    Cagla likes this.
  13. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    hey :) English is not a hard language to learn compared to French or German or Spanish or Korean :)
    Paisley likes this.
  14. JD4010

    JD4010 Well-Known Member

    I'm going to be part of this thread. My self-esteem is completely shot. In fact I have no self-esteem. Or confidence. I've always sucked at doing things. Everything comes out wrong if I have anything to do with it. Obviously, this effects every aspect of my life.

    I am a native English speaker but I'm not even good at speaking or writing it. See? That's how I am.
    Cagla likes this.
  15. Cagla

    Cagla Well-Known Member

    why, you expressed yourself very good... But I know no matter how many times people say a good word to us, we just won't believe it. Maybe there is a cure and we can accomplish reaching out to this cure...one day hopefully
    may71 likes this.
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