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Empathy Only Self harm addiction, BPD splitting and dissociation

Sewicide

Well-Known Member
#1
I am very triggered to hurt myself again like I did last night. I just want to tear into myself. I hate my existence so much. I can’t describe it... it’s this deep urge to just shred my skin. Everything is so awful and painful. I need to hurt myself to help me feel something else other than emotional suffering.

I’m also in physical pain and it hurts to breathe. I continually feel so invisible... when someone comments on my posts, I feel seen and that makes me feel better for the moment. Thank you for that
 

Baywasp

I want wind to blow
#2
I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad. I identify with this post. Sometimes I just hate myself and everything so much I just want to not exist and hurting myself seems like the only way. I definitely see you.
Is there something external that you know of causing the physical pain?
 

Sewicide

Well-Known Member
#3
I'm really sorry you're feeling so bad. I identify with this post. Sometimes I just hate myself and everything so much I just want to not exist and hurting myself seems like the only way. I definitely see you.
Is there something external that you know of causing the physical pain?
No idea... my left shoulder blade hurts and makes it difficult to breathe... and thank you. I’m so exhausted...
 

Baywasp

I want wind to blow
#4
I've had physical pain stemming from emotional pain and tension before, but never as bad as you're saying. That sounds really awful. I'd definitely say you should monitor that to make sure there's nothing else wrong.
 

Sewicide

Well-Known Member
#5
I've had physical pain stemming from emotional pain and tension before, but never as bad as you're saying. That sounds really awful. I'd definitely say you should monitor that to make sure there's nothing else wrong.
:( thank you for the advice... I hate going to the doctor, especially during this corona stuff. I doubt they’d even find anything if I did go. It’s likely a combination of what you described and the strain of picking up a heavy client at work
 

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