It sounds obvious, and it really is now that I think about it. But I wanted to share some past experiences, what I'm feeling at the moment and hopefully help. I used to cut, a lot. I have scars over my arms and legs (most now covered up by tattoos). I stopped as I turned 20 and hadn't thought a lot about self harm. But recent events made me think about how I had hurt myself in the time between stopping cutting and now. 3 Years ago I lost my Dad. I stopped eating and started exercising a lot. The not-eating, I knew was sort of self harming. The emptiness, the hunger, I felt I deserved that pain. I couldn't help my dad, he wasn't around to eat dinner so why should I eat without him? I would stop eating for 3 or 4 days and then eat something small in a sort of 'reward' for the pain. The exercise- I would run everyday, to the point I felt sick. Nobody else saw the toll it was taking on me physically and mentally until I collapsed at work. But years of hiding my cutting in school helped me hide this as well. I just convinced everyone I was pushing myself too hard. The collapse put things into perspective a bit for me and I started looking after myself more. This years been difficult for me and I cant pin why. I've had a lot of guilt and pain thinking about my past but I cant say why it's happening now. I started running again and pushing myself to the limit- to pain again. I've scraped my hand against walls as a release- my current job means I can pretend it was something to do with work so no one questions it. In complete honesty, I don't feel depressed. I don't have thoughts about suicide, I havent since I was a teenager. My life isn't bad but the past always seeps its way in and I do get down, but then I go for a run or find a wall and I get the release again. I guess my main point of all of this is to be aware of what you are doing, and others. I didn't realise i was harming myself when I started finding other ways to do it. I stopped cutting, I know I'd never go back to that. Will I stop finding other ways to get a release? I'm not sure. As crazy and as stupid as it sounds, I don't know that I want/deserve to.