does anyone else out there struggle with the demon of self hatred? i really hate myself. i hate my body. i hate my pain...mental and physical. i hate some decisions i have made in the past. i find it imposible to try to find any love for myself even though there are many things i have done that were good in the past. when my parents tell me that they love me...i feel like saying 'i don't deserve it'. self hatred haunts my dreams and thoughts...like there is no way to escape. when i try to do something to make myself feel better...it makes me hate myself more and i feel guilty. so i isolate myself so no one else is exposed to the toxic mixed feelings i have inside. i never take it out on anyone else... just myself. it is a non stop voice and critic in my head that never stops. then if i am able to sleep the beast comes out full force in my dreams... i hate being awake. and i am afraid of my dreams. does anyone else struggle with self hatred all the time?