Self Imposed Rules (warning, may trig)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MLKane, Jun 24, 2011.

  1. MLKane

    MLKane Well-Known Member

    I have loads of them. They keep me sane. They govern every part of my life and whenever I break them bad shit happens, so I try not to break them. I couldn't list them all here, it would take too long, but I'll put a few up and if you have any of your own I encourage you to put up yours as well.

    1. Never physically hurt anyone. Ever. If I ever get the urge, give them a compliment, no matter what the situation is.

    2. Never focus on one person for too long. Watching people is creepy, if I ever focus too much on someone, I completely ignore them for a week.

    3. Never self harm outside of a very specific area. Left shoulder. Prevents things from getting out of hand.

    4. Never hurt an animal. To facilitate this, never touch an animal. Any animal, any situation.

    5. Never fixate on death. If I start to think about death, I punch my thigh. If I ever watch a tv show and become too interested in a corpse on tv, I punch my thigh.

    6. Never believe in the impossible. I have hallucinations, and I can't tell the difference between hallucination and reality when they are happening. So I have a strict definition of "possible" and I always stick to it.

    7. Never reveal my fears to other people. I always stop myself in conversation. This site is an escape valve, because for all I know none of you are real people, you could all be extremely clever machines. No offense ment, that would be pretty cool.

    8. Never act outside of society's conventions in public. I just broke that one above by questioning your existance, but otherwise the rule stands, always stay within social norms.

    9. Never trust anyone completely. I broke this rule once, before I ever needed rules. Never again.

    10. Accept that I cannot properly understand others. I don't try and talk to people about my feelings, because I can't make sense of them with words. If someone explains how they feel to me, I don't truly understand, so instead I try and imagine myself as them and say what I would want to hear.

    11. Never start a fire. I smoke, I have a lighter, but I never set fire to anything other than cigarrettes. Not campfires, not fireworks, not rubbish, not leaves, Nothing.

    12. Always plan ahead. Always empty my bladder before bed, always carry a small toolkit, always have an emergency bag ready for apocalypse.

    13. Never draw someone else in. You people on here will never truly be drawn into my life, because I will never open the other aspects of my life fully to you. The people who know one side of me will never know the other, that way no-one can get hurt when I eventually self destruct.

    14. Never believe in false hope. I'm going to die, believing otherwise will only ever hurt me. I'm not normal, believing otherwise will only ever hurt me.

    15. Never tell a girl that I love them, even if I mean it. That would break 2, 6, 9, 13 and 14 possibly on their and/or my behalf no matter how seriously I felt. It would also make me far more likely to hurt them, and I am determined to protect the people I love while I still breathe.

    That's my lot. Some of them will sound strange, but rules exist for a reason and while this is not all of my rules, these are the important one. These are the rules I literally could not live without.
     
  2. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    1. Never kill animals
    2. Never, in any case, believe that luck will be on my side
    3. Don't expect that things will get better
    4. Don't lie or steal