"This was completely my fault...how could I let this happen.....they all called me a fag i'm no homo. " thats what I told myself, as I cruised down the streets in the early morning on this hot summer night. Even now as I recall it, 5 hours later...I still can't believe what a moron, a fucking idiot I am. A little back story... I took a new job in the mall, a completely sexually secure heterosexual male. This job, I was the only straight guy working there. For the next 6 months were hell from my "friends" constantly being called a fag, a homo, queer, ******. It didn't help they knew I was a virgin. "You must be gay dude look where you work, and you've never fucked a girl." "I think i'm gonna get a hooker for my birthday, you down J?" thats what triggered it tonight....thats what triggered my entire problem. Back to 1:00 am I find a woman...in my mind proving to myself I'm not gay she enters my car. "whatch yoo want?" I answered with an innocent "I, I don't know" "A blowjob is 10" I said okay. I really feel horrible, I'm a horrible person for inducing this on myself. I'm a hypocrite, all my morals and values have just turned upside down by one act..one act I can never take back, for my immortal soul to languish in hell if G-d sees fit. The deed was done. She leaves the car. I think to myself how stupid I am for doing that, how moronic...it wasn't even that great. I could have a terminal illness now because I couldn't keep my dick in my pants. G-d forgive me. G-d forgive me. G-d forgive me. if anyone reads this, which I hope someone takes my experience into consideration and doesn't do the same thing, please comment on what you think I should do in my self induced sexual assault.