Self Injury

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by yursomedicated, May 6, 2009.

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  1. yursomedicated

    yursomedicated Chat & Forum Buddy

    My last cut was on March 29, 2007. My friend Ang died in a car accident. I didn't know that she did before I tried to kill myself. I ended up in the hospital that night. I feel like God or whoever is up there took her instead of me. She was so nice and pretty and such a talented swimmer. I wanted to die, not her! And now I think about it, she should be here. I don't know if that sounds crazy but it's how I feel.

    Recently my friend just commited suicide. He hung himself. Now I think about that too. I tried choking myself tonight. But I can't go through with it. Not yet. I am suffering. I will not do drugs, I think I am better then that. I don't want to cut because everyone thinks I am fine and not even thinking about being depressed. I am hiding it from everyone even my boyfriend, but my friend knows but she really doesn't do much. Plus she is going 800 miles away for college next fall. I can't drink because the medicine I am on will make me throw up.

    I feel fucked. I can't get out of this misery. Therapy doesn't help. Medicine helps when it wants to. One of these days I know something will happen and I will just do it.

    When I get sad I listen to Little Death - Plus 44

    It talks about a car crash. RIP AMH + JM
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hoping the spirits give you a break and that you dedicate your time here to fulfilling the missions of ppl you have lost...big hugs, J
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