Self Introduction!

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by kote, Jul 9, 2008.

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  1. kote

    kote Account Closed

    :blink:

    Hi ive been on the rollar coaster for many years now and had it beat 8 years ago and thought the depression and suicidal thoughts i had had would never return.

    but after 8 years of a pretty mellow time and going through all the stresses of life without a blink suddenly it struck e down again over a year ago. a problem at work sent me spiraling into stress and suicidal thoughts. at no point did i feel depressed, just unable to go on anymore.

    it seems outside sources cause much of my trouble. i now have a great dr. who helps the best he can but im still rollar coasting through the months.
    sometimes i can see it coming and prepare and others it just hits and im hitting the bottom. while at the bottom i feel that it will never get better i realise that my problem is mostly chemical and can be triggered by outside negative things.

    i am very fortunate as i have a great wife who has read up on my sickness ( if i can call it that ) but she often comes to the doctors especially when im on a low. - i feel sorry for her as she worries so much about me which in affect makes me worry about her. we also have 2 wonderful kids 3 and 5 years old. they are aware i am sick now and again, but i try to hide y lows from them and my mother in law is such a help. so i have support but still i hit those lows.

    lately - well this week its been a low, but i feel im picking up again. i can spot the triggers once they happen but i have no way of avoiding them.

    many days i spend wrapped up in bed and feel guilty that im not pulling my weight but the days i feel good i pull more than my own weight and can be over working to make up for those days i hide. - ive been told that im over intelligent and sensitive and this may cause many of my problems. i give 150% when other give 80%. so when i do work im drained.

    when its written down like this it all seems so simple to me but to put it in practice is near impossible.

    anyway im here to help others when they need help 24hrs - ( im on japan time ) so long as you can help when im in crash mode.

    i hope you all have a great day and dont hit any bumps.

    :tongue:
     
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    :welcome: To SF
    Nice to meet you, but sorry to meet you here on a suicide forum :wink:

    Glad to hear you've got people around you who care and understand :smile:

    As for the help and support here.. I'm sure you'll get it when you post on the forums, and there's also always the option to Private Message people. I for one would love to offer my inbox for you to drop a message whenever needed :hug:
     
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Welcome to SF :hug:
     
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. Enjoy your time on here.
     
  5. nagisa

    nagisa Chat & Forum Buddy Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forums. :hug:
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :arms:
     
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. It is wonderful that you have such a great support system in place, but I know it can still be so very difficult when you are in the throes of depressive feelings. I am sure you will be able to give support to many people here, and they in turn will support you. Take care. :hug:
     
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF xox
     
  9. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to sf.
    I hope you find what you need on here
    Take care
     
  10. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF
     
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