Self mutilation today, Suicide soon?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cjloveee, Nov 24, 2014.

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  1. cjloveee

    cjloveee New Member

    So, I am supposed to be all better now, failed attempt behind me. I never got treatment maybe I should have. I wont be having Thanksgiving my depression took Halloween from me, my most favorite and now I will cook no beautiful bird. I dont deserve it and my family is crumbling.

    I want to run again and do it right, I just couldnt do it to him again. He asked me to back out of his daughters life slowly. I love her but, my influence isnt something she needs to be around. I will just punish myself a little more, he always says I can go or we can break up. Thats a lie he is as mentally fucked as I am. I WONT KILL MYSELF TODAY. It will be once I get out of their lives 23, and I dont want anything, and I have everything. Food, money, car, roof, family.

    The man who loves me has become so deceitful, I know I made my own mistakes but, I was HONEST. 100% all details, I dont ask for details because I cant take them. FUCK THIS WHY AM I WRITTING HERE

    HONESTLY I AM ALONE who knows, maybe I wont back away and disregard his requests not to turn our apartment into a crime scene, I do love him so much but, FUCK. I dont love me so how much is so much.

    Dont reply, and go away.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOur wishes are what is impt Your daughter is what is important and you can get well get some supports in place for YOU Sorry i am not one to go away when i see someone is such pain

    Get some help some therapy for you ok you deserve peace and healing you do
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