Hi everyone, I'm having a really bad day, I need to talk to someone before I lose it. I keep having these repetitive negative thoughts that are making me depressed. I've been insecure all my life, and it feels like its getting worse. "I'm worthless, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I am a burden to others". And lately I've been having suicidal thoughts again. "Just do it, nobody will miss me, it will be better if you're out of their lives". I'm afraid that one day I can't stand it anymore. I don't want this, I want to be happy, I want to make my partner happy. Trying so hard to change myself, but the more I try the more upset I get that I'm not moving forward fast enough. I'm afraid I'll never change. My partner is the sweetest guy ever. He's been really patient with me, but I see he's losing his patience. He acts cold now when I'm feeling sad, doesn't ask whats wrong. And I completely understand. If you see someone sad everytime, you'll get tired of it. I'm so afraid I'll lose him. And whats hurting me the most, I keep telling myself that. "Youre losing him. Look hes upset with you, he must be tired of you. He's going to leave you". I want these thoughts to stop, I cant take it anymore. I dont know what to do..