selfish and pathetic

[113]

I feel like ive become incapable of coping with problems. Ive been trying to force myself to think more positively lately, and working out and eating more properly and sleeping right and being more social, which does give me more energy I guess, but when new problems come I cant find solutions. My thought automatically go back to wanting to die over dealing with everything, and with it all my reasons for why I should just die and why I derserve to and how im probably not going to manage life no matter how hard I try. Im also not sure I really want to fight anymore at all, the future, even a bright one (which I probably wont get anyway), doesnt tempt me. At this point im thinking if certain things happen im out, and though I know what pain it would cause my family im not sure I can live a lifetime just for others. Im too selfish. I dont think I have a question, and I realize I write quite shallowly about these things, I just cant stop thinking about it now I guess im hoping writing anything will make me feel better.

 

[K8E]

It's really difficult to live with the feelings that you have. It is great that you've been able to eat, sleep and get more exercise. Those things will all help. The feeling of hopelessness that you describe is common to depression, but with time and the right help it will get better. What you've written isn't shallow at all you describe the feelings that you have really well and they are feelings that a lot of us have or have had. Keep reaching out. Have you thought of or do you keep a journal? There's a section on this site where you can start one if you don't already have one: http://www.suicideforum.com/forumdisplay.php?96-Members-Diary

 

[113]

Thank you for taking time to answer, I will definitely check that section out!

 

[CD110]

I've wondered about the member's diary, why is it not possible to respond to threads? Seems you get the worst of both worlds, you don't get the privacy and you don't get input from the community. At least, not in a format that everyone can see and discuss.

 

[K8E]

I think sometimes you want to get stuff 'out there' without thinking about how others will respond. There is a private section too where you can post stuff that only you can see. Some people find it helpful. One of the great things about this forum is the range of sections.

 

[youRprecious!]

Hi 1,13 - I do hope that you find here some refreshing new insights that resonate with you and can help fuel a positive belief in navigating your path