I feel like ive become incapable of coping with problems. Ive been trying to force myself to think more positively lately, and working out and eating more properly and sleeping right and being more social, which does give me more energy I guess, but when new problems come I cant find solutions. My thought automatically go back to wanting to die over dealing with everything, and with it all my reasons for why I should just die and why I derserve to and how im probably not going to manage life no matter how hard I try. Im also not sure I really want to fight anymore at all, the future, even a bright one (which I probably wont get anyway), doesnt tempt me. At this point im thinking if certain things happen im out, and though I know what pain it would cause my family im not sure I can live a lifetime just for others. Im too selfish. I dont think I have a question, and I realize I write quite shallowly about these things, I just cant stop thinking about it now I guess im hoping writing anything will make me feel better.