i'm so mad right now i could actually burst. she's closing this chapter and starting a new one, got rid of me completely now, got a new fucking life. she's so hurt that she's decided to clear the chess board and begin the next fucking game, she says she needs to move on from the mistakes she made and the hurt she caused, what about your victims!!! while they're still fucking suffering from the hurt you caused them, you're living it up because poor you had a tough last couple of years, poor you, so fucked up you've driven people to attempting to take their life, poor you for actually REALISING the hurt you've caused but nevermind because you need to get over it and you need to announce that?! the PERFECT song comes to mind, just so happens to be my favourite at the moment, these few lines pretty much represent how i've felt for 6 fucking months, and you couldn't give a toss. "what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok" "she's moved on while I'm still grieving" "One still in love while the other ones leaving" so what if its fucking emo to quote a song huh! what if you don't wanna be 'emo' enough to express the words yourself because thats what i am isn't it, they see the scars and the 2nd you actually accidently hurt yourself its "you emo, why you cut your finger on the bread knife" mate, the scars are on my arms, if i was gonna cut myself purposely i'd head for where all the fucking scars are you nimrod! back to the point, why should someone who caused so much pain and anger to so many people be allowed to 'move on'. why should they be able to pull the 'woe me' card, gain sympathy and friends when the other is suffering in silence because hey, what place do i have to complain, used and abused my whole life, i should be fucking used to it...WRONG...it hurts more and more every fucking time and the more it happens, the more shit i swallow the next time it happens. Rejection doesn't make you stronger, rejection from people you love most and trust most literally rips your soul apart too the point where you're simply a cardboard but out, a smiling piece of fucking cardboard trying to fool you into buying this image, buying the smile, buying the mood. you ask me if i'm ok, 99.9% of the time i'll say i'm fine, ah, beaks is fine, good ol' beaks doing all dandy like. nope...i'd say that 1% when i'm not ok is when something has just happened and i need to get it out but i'd say about...70%-80% of that is me lying to hide how muc of a fucking pussy i am, to hide how much its actually effected me because people always say "awwwe don't be sad coz then i'll be sad" fuck off and let me be fucking sad! whatever yer, she needs to fuck off and 'move on' but i pray every day that her new beginning brings even more hurt to her than she inflicted on all of us put together.