I was too fat and felt guilty for anyone pulling muscles in their back trying to remove my dead body so I lost eight stone. Then, I realised all my journals were traumatic for anyone who found them so I shredded them all. Then, I realised someone would have to deal with all my chattels so I have reduced them to a minimum for ease on those left behind. I am doing everything I can to make sure that my suicide will be as unburdensome as possible albeit I have no money to pay for my own funeral but I am trying to save for it. To hell and back again I have been considering the consequences. My laptop is wiped clean so no scary journals or websites to wonder over. My mobile will be wiped and drowned before I go. I have nothing to hand down, nothing to pass on. So, once all my belongings have been reduced to a chair and a bed, I will be ready. Why, am I selfish? The endless crisis after crisis and constant seeing the way out I am doing my best to make it as quiet and undisruptive as possible. Selfish? Really? Go on, hit me with it..... Am I not the most caring person to make it easier on those left behind. I am a menace. Live alone. Totally isolated and ready. What on gods hell of an earth should stop me??