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Selfish Thinking

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#1
So yeah, the thoughts are back.

I'm not going to do anything, I couldn't do that right now.

But how in hell do I get through this? Its like crap for two weeks, okay for a few days and now sinking again. How do I avoid this?

Obviously the issue is me, my mind and my thoughts. If I cannot control negative thoughts of myself along with raging flashbacks of numerous things, then how do I move forward?

I feel such a failure in many ways. Things I used to be able to do at the drop of a hat take me forever anymore, if I even get to them. Try to motivate myself is difficult.

Is this just how its going to be from now on? If so, why try if I always end up back here? And if back here is where i'm going to be, aren't I better to drink again to at least numb some of it?

Confused and alone, sad and frustrated and of course, angry with myself.
 
#2
Yeah I know where your coming from,I get angry for being so pathetic and doing nothing to change it. I figure we must be able to get better and change our lives coz people forever tell you that you can. I just can't seem to pull it out of myself tho.
Take care
 
#3
yeh i`m way better off just dieing been falling for wat must be 10 years now and everything just gets wers. dont enjoy the good times and the bad times are unbareable. wat is the point. 10 years of hell and just keeps gettin wers.
 

diver200

Senior Member
#4
Boy do I know what you mean. It's not so much that I want to die. I just don't care sometimes if I live or die. I just try to muddle through, because I know the feelings usually will cycle back around again to a point where I can "tolerate" being alive.
 
#5
i`m sick of getting things taken from me, couldnt travel, couldnt have a eductation, couldnt have a famaly, cant have a girlfriend, cant have a job, now cant leave the house, cant go to the pub, cant have a dream and cant have any money. cant use the internet, cant watch telly, cant watch football and cant look normal
 

1Lefty

Well-Known Member
#6
Dear MoAnamCara - so much of what you wrote, I recognized in myself. Especially the temptation to return to drinking. Alcohol tends to be a central system depressant - if you feel misersable , through a few drinks in on top, some rude behavior, maybe traffic violations, now things are real complicated.

And alcohol and other substances (legal and illicit). But I've spent many of the last several days where you'tr at.

PM any time (though I'm probably close to bed) Blessings and hoping tomorrow
is a better day for both.

Peace
 

Petal

~*Mod Extraordinaire*~
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#9
I'm sorry to hear the thoughts are back but I'm glad that you are determined that you're not going to do anything.

But how in hell do I get through this? Its like crap for two weeks, okay for a few days and now sinking again. How do I avoid this?
There's a few ways you can do this hun. :)
You can try yoga or pilates to relax your body and mind.
Buy some self help books, I know of a good one called ,'when panic attacks' but I can't remember the authors name. And, another good one by Paul McKenna called instant confidence, it's rather good and is a nice read, it definitely helped with my confidence a bit.
Find a new hobby or just joining some clubs for the sake of keeping the thoughts away.

Obviously the issue is me, my mind and my thoughts. If I cannot control negative thoughts of myself along with raging flashbacks of numerous things, then how do I move forward?

I feel such a failure in many ways. Things I used to be able to do at the drop of a hat take me forever anymore, if I even get to them. Try to motivate myself is difficult.

Is this just how its going to be from now on? If so, why try if I always end up back here? And if back here is where i'm going to be, aren't I better to drink again to at least numb some of it?

Confused and alone, sad and frustrated and of course, angry with myself.
I sure hope it won't always be life this for you.You're not a failure, depression is telling you that, depression lies.It's also a very very bad idea to drink when you're feeling down because you just might act on your emotions and no one wants that to happen.I'm always around if you need a friendly ear hun, only a message away xox
 
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#19
Its really not important, I should not have said anything.

Scared, exhausted, lonely, worried, stressed and all the rest of it.

Just having a rough time, as are many people here.

It is hard when you feel like you have failed so many in your life.

And thats it, enough said - time for people to move on to looking after those who are so more deserving of their energies and thoughts.
 

windlepoons

Well-Known Member
#20
No you were right to say something. You have the right to, especially on your own thread.
Have you really failed many people?

I am having a bad time and being here helps me a lot, and makes me feel I have something to offer, maybe it can do the same for you?
 
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