Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sithspit, May 19, 2010.

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  1. sithspit

    sithspit Well-Known Member

    I've heard many people describe suicide as a "selfish" thing to do, and I don't think that it is fair. After all, the natural human disposition is to survive, and to go against that, someone must be feeling out of the norm - therefore, it's not fair to apply things objectively to them.

    That said, if someone was thinking clearly, then suicide would be selfish, but as anyone who would be thinking clearly wouldn't want to kill themselves, this wouldn't occur (with me so far?)

    Now, recently my suicidal feelings have been coming back. It's been getting to me really how lonely I really am, and how inadequate I am. I've been thinking of different methods, and even times and days I could do it.

    Thing is, I really do love my family, and I don't want any of them to walk in on my dead body and upset them massively. So I'm rational enough to not want to hurt my family in that way, but surely that means I'm rational enough to not want to hurt them by killing myself... yet I still do.

    So, am I selfish or not?
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Your not selfish because even though you are hurting you are putting your family first, I hate it when it is described in a cliché. It takes a lot for someone to attempt that, at the same time though I hate the thought of anyone going that way (werid I know considering i want too). But the best thing you can do is talk to your family, so that you have the support and understand from them
  3. jack5989

    jack5989 New Member

    Sadly it's all about perspective.

    From our point of view it is selfish of our loved ones to expect us to live with whatever affliction we are constantly dealing with so that they can feel a little more comfortable knowing that we are breathing.

    Then from their point of view it's selfish to just off yourself when life is so miraculous (it honestly is but it's hard to see this and even if you can there is a way around this idea as well... there is always a way around something it seems) and also leaving behind everyone who loves you.

    I feel inadequacy and loneliness as well. These are the main reasons I think about suicide. I don't know what is right or what is wrong in this regard, but if the circumstances can sustain my biological functions then I'll keep trying to deal with the spiritual and emotional death that I feel I am in. Why? Hell I dunno. Maybe for the same reason I was born? Maybe because... hell i don't know! I'll just wait for now I guess and try to take others advice. I work out regularly and try to get out (often this requires me to take concerta or smoke marijuana). At least then when I do die they can say.. "well we can't say he didn't try..."
  4. shazwackers

    shazwackers Well-Known Member

    No it's not selfish at all to feel knows what we are feeling inside and I'm so sorry you are feeling like this at the moment.

    You have a great starting point like love your family and would not want to devastate them. Please get help for how you are feeling now, talk it over with someone, or at least keep posting here..........all the very best........shaz
  5. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    It drives me mad when people say it's selfish, and I got in a big fight with someone about it recently... until halfway through the argument I realised that it was pretty obvious why I was fighting the notion so strongly, and I quickly shut up. As has been pointed out, who knows what pain you're in, and in a way, it's selfish of other people to expect you to live with that pain just so you can stay with them.

    I understand your comment about how if you were thinking rationally then surely you couldn't do it, for your family's sake, but I think there are degrees of rationality and perhaps you are currently on the cusp between being able to think rationally and losing all sense of reality, which is often what happens.

    I hope you fight to maintain your rational feelings, but don't add guilt as a factor by feeling selfish - you're not.

  6. sithspit

    sithspit Well-Known Member

    Thankyou very much for your replies. They mean a lot to me!
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