Sensitive to Insults

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by rosalee, Jul 22, 2009.

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  1. rosalee

    rosalee Well-Known Member

    Sorry for making another annoying "does anybody else feel the same way?" thread, but sometimes it helps to know I'm not alone. So, with that said...

    Does anybody else trigger when they hear other people getting called "fat" or "ugly?" Even if the insult isn't addressed at me, I immediately compare myself to the person who it was intended for, and figure that I must be even worse by comparison. It bothers me more than "stupid" (maybe because I've already just accepted the fact that I'm stupid). Even when people try to spin it into something positive, like "but you're not fat and ugly; just look at those other people, the ones who are really fat and ugly!" -- why does appearance have to be a standard of judgment at all? Why are we always fighting each other for a spot in some kind of hierarchy of beauty? Knowing somebody thinks other people are below me doesn't fix what's wrong inside of me.

    YouTube videos are the worst. I mean, not like YT was ever an upper echelon of intellectual discourse or anything, but it seems like no matter what kind of video somebody uploads -- tutorials or music or dance vids -- there's a whole string of people saying, "What the hell do you think you're doing? You're too ugly to ever be famous!" or even just using "fat" as an extra insult, like, "You can't sing, and you're fat, too!" These people were never claiming to be professionals; they probably just wanted to share their hobby on their personal blogs or something -- but apparently it's not enough to just want to have a little fun, when the whole world is always watching. It reinforces that dichotomy in my head that says "you're either perfect, or you're worthless scum."

    I already know I'm too sensitive, and I'm not trying to claim that the world is responsible for my eating disorder -- but this in particular just really, really gets under my skin. :(
  2. Brighid Moon

    Brighid Moon Member & Antiquities Friend

    It bugs me, too. And I don't get why looks are so bloody important, either (though I do understand health). My entire life has been based on my looks (or lack thereof). It sucks. Now there's age, too. Ugh! But those little brats who make comments like that? They're a lot worse off than we are. They have to say mean little vindictive spiteful things to make themselves feel better about themselves. It's like our EDs or cutting or something - only they take it out on others. But the feeling, I'm sure, is the same inside - total insecurity. Just figure that they're worse off than you and I are, at least we can admit we're not perfect to ourselves and then do something about it.
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Body fascism gets me. Mainly cos I've been anorexic in the past. I told my sister when I look back, I said, I always felt I had a responsibility not to pass on or perpetuate eating problems or views about food and my body, that I know I aim to myself. I've noticed a lot of people with diagnosed or undiagnosed eating disorders do it all the time. It's normal.

    The only person I'm cruel to is my abusive father, because he looks like an emaciated corpse right now, as I know I do when I am ill.

    I hate the word "pretty" myself.

    I don't know what these people are trying to say. How is this supposed to make anyone feel good about themselves?

    What you said about YT is symptomatic of the point-and-laugh-mock culture right now, Pop Idol or whatever- those shows that go out on tv. Or the thing about obesity and 'healthy living.'

    You know what, why not burn something, put all your rage into something you make- how you feel about the comments they make, and set it on fire, and try and let it go. Or mock them. Don't internalise it, or try not to. The people around you sound unhealthy and probably have deep rooted body/self esteem issues themselves and it's perpetuated by the culture around us. There is nothing wrong by saying the world and people around you are responsible for your ED. What's wrong in saying that? The relationships between body, life and food in this society is fucked up.
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    I completely get this Andrea, and I do indeed feel the same way.
    I usually feel a touch of unease when I hear somebody insult someone else for no reason whatsoever.
    I think it's usually - as ggg4576 has already said - an insecurity they have within themselves.
    My Mum and I were discussing this today funnily enough, talking about how we have both had friends who constantly did this. Put us down to make themselves feel better.
    She has managed to stop talking to her friend that acts this way but I am still trying to distance myself from the girl I know.

    I think more than anything it's really pathetic when people pick up on someone about somebody (that is probably something they already know, and don't like, about themselves) and then dwell on it/mention it/make them feel bad about it.

    I mean, what if someone were to turn around and do it right back to them? It's just really sad and I for one, hate it.
  5. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    people who post insults at everyone on youtube(or insult people in general) have extremely low self esteem and never learned how to deal with it any other way.Not everyone with low self esteem does that..just the ones who are intellectually stunted..thats a nice word for "dumb".If you could SEE the people posting that way you would not feel so might feel pity for them.They are not very intelligent and secretly feel inadequate and interstingly they probably don't say those things outside the anonymity of the internet.
  6. SmilePretty

    SmilePretty Staff Alumni

    if it counts for anything, i have been fasting for 3 days and my mom says to me "have you been putting on weight" and i started i would say that i am very sensitive to insults even if they arent meant to be insults.

    it bothers me more when people are called ugly than fat i guess because i call myself fat all of the time.
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