September 11th.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by iKarma, Aug 18, 2009.

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  1. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    This post is here, for a reason, I guess. It won't make much sense since I haven't slept since Thursday. I guess I am afraid to sleep, fucking dream :(. But I am quitting. This Friday I am stopping my anti-psychotic, so I will have stopped my 5 meds. I will donate the money to some good cause. I cancelled my appointments on the September 11th with the Psych. Instead I am heading to Italy on the 1st. And ending it on the 11th at the Roman Colliseum. Kind of funny how my blood will be spilt on something that was meant for death. But oh well. I think I choose Italy, since I couldn't really be stopped there. Not really sure why I am posting this here, to vent I guess?
     
  2. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Please talk to me, I know you feel really low but you're better then this.
    Please send me a pm, I'm really worried about you.
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    What's going on? Please talk to us. Did something happen that caused you to make these decisions.
     
  4. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    I think my lack of sleep has caused me to feel this way right now to be honest. But it is something I was thinking about for a while.
     
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope that, once you get some sleep, you'll change your mind!!
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi,Nathan,

    Please don't stop taking your medication. I've been there,gave up for a short amount of time, trust me , stopping your medication (especially cold tuirkey) will cause you to feel much worse.
    If you really want to come off them, consult your doctor. What is causing your insomnia? Have you any idea?
    I think you should make a doctors appointment A.S.A.P.
    Please don't harm yourself, you can get through this x
    Feel free to PM me anytime :hug:
     
  7. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    I stopped the medication because I was feeling worse. I have tried to consult my psych about this, she originally had a date set for September 11th to see me. I couldn't wait that long, so I went to her office for like a week and waited to try and see her, but she was never 'there'. I guess going of the medication was a good choice, because it was making me worse. My insomnia, is probably caused from this dream I keep having it makes me scared to sleep. I have had the insomnia for about 5 months, but it is really bad right now. I canceled my apppointments. I am not going to get better, so why waste time? There are other people that can be helped, so I am just taking time away from them.
     
  8. wendolynmarie

    wendolynmarie Active Member

    Do you have a regular doctor to go to? Or could you find a different psych to go to? I don't know the whole story but it seems to me like if she were a good psych she would find time to fit you in earlier than that if you asked. For the sleeping you could go to the pharmacy and try some over the counter sleeping aids. Diphenhydramine (Sominex, Nytol), Doxylamine (Unisom), Melatonin, or Valerian. If you need to talk to someone you can PM me.
     
  9. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    I have a family Doctor, but they aren't really geared for mental issues. I have tried all the psychiatrists in the city I live in. Tried most of those sleeping aids in the past 5 months, none really worked. I will probably just keep going until I collapse.
     
  10. wendolynmarie

    wendolynmarie Active Member

    The family doctor could at least give you scripts for other sleeping aids. I take Trazodone and that works well for me. And usually I don't remember my dreams when I'm on it. The family doctor might also have connections with psychiatrists that you might not know about or couldn't get into contact with.
     
  11. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    I am on Ativan, Clonidine, Luvox, Trazodone, and Zeldox. All are basically sleeping aides. But they don't help anymore.
     
  12. iKarma

    iKarma Well-Known Member

    Day 13.... 11.5 hours of sleep. I am going insane. Last night I stabbed my leg, cut my leg :(
     
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