Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Lexicon, May 7, 2012.

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  1. Lexicon

    Lexicon Well-Known Member

    It's strange. This time, suicide doesn't feel like an angry scream against the world. It feels inevitable. Warm, safe, comforting. I'm ready. I have pills and alcohol, and the complete and comprehensive loss of any will to live. I'm sorry to my girlfriend, who loves me and who I love. I'm sorry to my family, but then, you never did care tremendously. I'm hanging onto life by my fingernails and I'm not even scared, and that in itself is bizarre and huge. I'd be able to do, to honestly just stop everything. Peace. Silence.

    I've already self-harmed, so my legs hurt like a son of a bitch. It's only one step further. If I do it right, it may even be relatively painless. I hope so. THat would be nice. If not, I deserve the pain.

    I'm sorry.
  2. Incurious

    Incurious Well-Known Member

    I hope that you're still here. I felt calm when I was contemplating. I wasn't going to do anything at the time, so I have no right to expect that you felt the same as I did.

    What I do know is that there's always hope. Even if you feel none right now. You have someone who loves you, and that's surely worth holding on to.

    Edit: I hope the reason that your no longer logged in is because you called for an ambulance.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 7, 2012
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I too hope you've gone to get help
    and didn't go through with your plans to leave..:console:
  4. Lexicon

    Lexicon Well-Known Member

    Well. I'm still here. Attempted, but am still here. Didn't call for an ambulance, went and threw up instead. Helpfully evacuating my bottle of pills and vodka. No lasting effects that I can find. So. Still here. Thanks for your concern, for your care, I really appreciate it.
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry ADMIN

    Can you talk to your girlfriend? If you love each other, I'm sure losing you would hurt her horribly. Can you confide in her?
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    thanks for letting us know you're still here
    are you getting any professional help?
  7. Perhapsa3

    Perhapsa3 Well-Known Member

    Thank you for sharing how you feel and what happened.
  8. chewbacca

    chewbacca Well-Known Member

    please dont say things like that.
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