Serially Raped, Neglected, Forgotten, and Invisible.

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#41
Wow. You are describe your life so well. I'm speechless. Have no words but tons of sympathy and empathy for you. Dev
Hi Devenny,

Thanks so much for stopping by and saying hi!

Even short expressions of support such as this one of yours here on SF has helped to make me feel more loved and cared for this past week than I have in a decade, and that is such an incredibly nice thing to be able to say.

Until last week my life was filled with only misery, whereas now the support on SF brings tears of joy.

Hopefully I can play a small role in your life also in some or other way ;)

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Charlie
 
#43
hehhheh wonderful????hmmmmmmmm well i will try :))
I'll be thinking about you this weekend Cagla. On summer weekends I go to cook for people at weddings, which is nice for me to get out of the house, but I'm always alone, even though there are hundreds of people around me...
 

Nick

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#45
Thanks Flower. I've just responded to an email from the support centre now now. They offer telephone support as well as in person counselling, and while the latter scares me, i think it might be the best way for me to get something out of it... Ps are you just a support person on here, do you have a story of your own?
I'm glad that you have reached out to the support centre. I can't begin to tell you what a difference counselling has made for me. I hope you continue to find the help and support you want and need. As always there are many people here to help support you along the way.
 

Walker

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#46
I am no longer in hiding
No need to hide here. I think you'll find that this place is a hidden gem in the world of the internet. Lots of struggling people just helping other struggling people to get along and make the next move, take another step forward and prop each other up when they need it most. You're part of that as soon as you register :)
 
#47
I'm glad that you have reached out to the support centre. As always there are many people here to help support you along the way.
Hi Nick! As always, thanks for the caring words. I've decided to hold off on in-person counselling for now because right now I'm finding SF 'good' and decided that, considering the value I'm finding here, maybe I don't need to open up support on many other fronts. More importantly, I've been provided a number of materials and websites to study, which is a fair of work actually, and I think I need to first make work of this before going looking for more help. My thinking being that, no matter what help I get, it is going to take work from myself to get real value out of it, and I think pointless going to look for more work in this regard when I already have things to make work of. So I'm going to continue the discussion on here, continue making my notes, continue doing my research, and keep doing my soul searching. And then once I've come to the end of wherever that takes me, I'll think about in-person counselling again. Or does it sound like I'm just avoiding my issues again??
 
#48
No need to hide here. I think you'll find that this place is a hidden gem in the world of the internet. Lots of struggling people just helping other struggling people to get along and make the next move, take another step forward and prop each other up when they need it most. You're part of that as soon as you register HEY
YES hey Walker, I cottoned onto the above real fast actually, and hence why I'm starting to think that my participation on here might be as good as any therapy - with the exception maybe of helping me deal with my social awkwardness and social anxieties as I think only practice -i.e. forcing myself to talk to other human being in person- will fix that, if ever..................
 

Nick

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#49
Hi Nick! As always, thanks for the caring words. I've decided to hold off on in-person counselling for now because right now I'm finding SF 'good' and decided that, considering the value I'm finding here, maybe I don't need to open up support on many other fronts. More importantly, I've been provided a number of materials and websites to study, which is a fair of work actually, and I think I need to first make work of this before going looking for more help. My thinking being that, no matter what help I get, it is going to take work from myself to get real value out of it, and I think pointless going to look for more work in this regard when I already have things to make work of. So I'm going to continue the discussion on here, continue making my notes, continue doing my research, and keep doing my soul searching. And then once I've come to the end of wherever that takes me, I'll think about in-person counselling again. Or does it sound like I'm just avoiding my issues again??
The big thing is that nobody here is a professional. We can only speak from personal experience. Not to say there isn't value in that, but it's not the same level you would get from a professional. I would always encourage people to seek counseling in this case. The trauma therapy I have done has made a HUGE difference. That level of help is beyond what you can find in a book, or what anyone here can provide. SF is a great support system, and I won't even try to deny that, but your best bet for healing comes from specified therapy.

Ultimately the decision is yours. It would be truly sad for you to wait until you get to the end of your rope again to seek professional help.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#51
The big thing is that nobody here is a professional. We can only speak from personal experience. Not to say there isn't value in that, but it's not the same level you would get from a professional. I would always encourage people to seek counseling in this case. The trauma therapy I have done has made a HUGE difference. That level of help is beyond what you can find in a book, or what anyone here can provide. SF is a great support system, and I won't even try to deny that, but your best bet for healing comes from specified therapy.

Ultimately the decision is yours. It would be truly sad for you to wait until you get to the end of your rope again to seek professional help.
Hi Nick

What exactly did they do in therapy
 

Nick

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#52
Hi Nick

What exactly did they do in therapy
There are a variety of approaches. In my case we started with exploring coping strategies. I still suck at those, but at least I've got somewhere to start now. We changed approaches when it became clear my nightmares were more of an issues than anything else. The haunt me when I sleep and when I'm awake. We have been exploring the nightmares, the thoughts they bring up and working through how to deal with that. It has gotten easier to handle. It's been hard work, but worth it.
 

Lara_C

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#53
So I'm going to continue the discussion on here, continue making my notes, continue doing my research, and keep doing my soul searching. And then once I've come to the end of wherever that takes me, I'll think about in-person counselling again. O
I think your approach is a good one because doing your research will help you to choose a therapy and therapist which is right for you, if you ever do decide that's what you need.

There's so many different types of therapy, it can get confusing. Psychology Today has a very useful list, with descriptions, of the range of therapies available : https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/types-of-therapy

It also keeps a searchable list of approved therapists, and their specialities, fees etc in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/...=House_Link&utm_campaign=PT_TopNavF_Therapist
 
#54
The big thing is that nobody here is a professional. We can only speak from personal experience. Not to say there isn't value in that, but it's not the same level you would get from a professional. I would always encourage people to seek counseling in this case. The trauma therapy I have done has made a HUGE difference. That level of help is beyond what you can find in a book, or what anyone here can provide. SF is a great support system, and I won't even try to deny that, but your best bet for healing comes from specified therapy.
Thanks for the clarification Nick, I'll certainly take this under advisement...
 
#55
think your approach is a good one because doing your research will help you to choose a therapy and therapist which is right for you, if you ever do decide that's what you need.
Thanks Lara, I think you're following my gist here. I didn't want to just plunge into the first form of counselling Im offered without at least understanding the alternatives.
 

Woowoo

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#57
Hi @charlie1979 I'm sorry that I've only just seen your thread, but I'm so glad that you found SF and are benefiting from it. As you're finding, this website is full of people who listen, understand and support each other, and it's a lifeline for many people, myself included.

I hope you're enjoying the wonderful weather in the UK this weekend. I'm going to spend the day relaxing in my garden. I hope you do something nice for yourself too :)
 
#58
Hey WOO, thanks for the note, much appreciated! Loving the SF community, which is also delivering an unexpected sense of belonging for me... I'm currently on the train to Basingstoke to go and do some pork ribs on the smoker at a friend's and Easter egg hunt for his kids in the morning! (The chap I'm visiting is the only British friend I have actually. It's been difficult for me to make friends here as I've only ever worked from home in England, and of course most people make friends at work - or varsity...). Anyway, I'm just babbling on now. I hope you'll be lighting a BBQ at yours too this afternoon! :)
 

Woowoo

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#59
Sounds like a good weekend Charlie. I hope you enjoy it. I've just been out and bought some food to do a bbq, but unfortunately I need to clean mine before I use it :(
 
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