serious attempt,almost died.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by psilocybin420, Oct 6, 2008.

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  1. psilocybin420

    psilocybin420 Member

    Today i was determined to end my depressing painful hellish existence. I got a noose and went to my place I call the 'Suicide spot' its a nice quiet place with not many people around with a perfect tree for suicide. I began to hang myself...and kicked the bucket out from under me...

    I had just barely miscalculated,,and my toes hit the ground. I also think that the branch bent a slight bit so that my toes and feet hit the ground... but that didnt stop me from Completely BLACKING OUT.... somehow my survival instinct kicked in and there is a slight hill..

    Like that. a slight incline subconsiously when i blacked out i must have tryed stumbling up the hill fighting severly for air. I was shaking uncontrollably....litterally scared as fuck. this was just today. I have a bruise all around my neck which ive tryed to cover up...when i came to I started screaming for help to get the noose untied, having failed the attempt anyway. no one came and i eventually was able to climb up the incline and untie the slipknot noose.

    I give kudos for thouse who have read this far :O) thank you. there are some things I would like to point out that I think I can benefit from in the future.

    *I need a bigger rope!!!* *I need to make sure that theres NO CHANCE of my toes hitting the ground!* and i need to make it work once and for all.

    <mod edit: might encourage others>
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 7, 2008
  2. Honest to KerYst, I don't know what to say...

    All I wanna do is give you a {{hug}}

    And I'd listen...
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't try to hang yourself again psilocybin. Hanging is truly an awful way to go, since your body is programmed to survive, you will be gasping for air until either your neck breaks or you suffocate. What has caused you to feel that hanging yourself was the only way out? If you're a religious person, you can think of this experience as God's way of saving you. You wanted to see what hanging feels like, but thank God that you didn't die. Would you like to talk about the things that are upsetting you instead? :hug:
     
  4. psilocybin420

    psilocybin420 Member

    To be honest... what hanging felt like to me was a rush. it was terrifying but exciting in a way that i was... flirting with death or trying to die. when I came too,i remember i could hardly move. and slept the rest of the day cuz i was so worn out from the expirence.

    as far as my problems go... its just something that maybe i will share later but atm i would rather just read and listen to others :wink:
     
  5. psilocybin420

    psilocybin420 Member

    and im also grateful for the replys
     
  6. psilocybin420

    psilocybin420 Member

    as far as the mod states that i was encouraging others... I would NEVER condone suicide or try and push someone to that limit. Its a personal decision and i was merely stating my expirence through my eyes.
     
  7. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    hey psilocybin,

    Im sorry to hear you went through all that. I understand your not ready to talk about things yet, but i hope you have the courage to do so before it gets that bad again.

    If you ever need a friend, please PM me :hug:
     
  8. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    Christ that sounds terrible. Don't do it again please.
     
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry for what you've been through.
    Like foundandlost has said I just want to give you a big hug.

    I could imagine it would be a rush, but being so scared like that, I hope you don't put yourself through that again.

    Feel free to share more with us when you're ready.

    :hug:
     
  10. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    wow, it's like you've been given a second chance at life :eek:
    I'm very sorry you're in so much pain though.
     
  11. KirstyMissJimBob

    KirstyMissJimBob Well-Known Member

    hey plz dont do it again.
    My cousin hung himself a month ago........he died.And i have not been able to move on from it, it hurts me everyday.
    Think about your family and the people who care about you b4 you try it again.
    If you need to talk pm me ill listen, iv been battling depression for 7 yrs.

    take care ok. xoxoxo
     
  12. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    how terrifying i hope you can find hope
    i know its almost impossible in this sick evil society
     
  13. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you felt you had to do this to yourself. Please don't try again, see this as your second chance. I don't know what your full post said as it was edited, but it sounds a horrific thing to go through all the same. I have my reservations about post editing, as much as I respect the staff here I think sometimes things of a very sensitive nature get misinterpreted.
     
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    That sounds horrific,please don't harm yourself again. Im here if you need to talk :hug:
     
  15. psilocybin420

    psilocybin420 Member

    Hey everyone thanks very much for the responses!!! very kind of you to do this... hugs to all of you... Im still kinda down. I will probly write more later but mainly wanted to thank everyone for the care and sympathy they have shown. peace,dan
     
  16. downunder

    downunder Well-Known Member

    I actually find this post quite triggering because it actually gives instructions such as using a bucket and making sure that the rope is long enough and that also when you have a go you get a bit of a rush, as I have been considering this method. I am surprised they didn't edit this even more.
     
  17. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    My brother tried it and I was the one who found him and cut him down. To this day I still think he has some brain damage. Every time he does something stupid he says it was me who did it. Like when I got out of the Marines He says I went to drug rehab to get myself off the heroin. I have never done heroin in my life. I don't know where he gets some of this shit from.
    Please don't try that again!!! There is help out there you just haven't found it yet. Everyone is different so I can't tell you what you need to do. Only you can decide what you need. I do know that there are alot of people here who care about you and maybe you should draw some strength from them!! Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I agree with you downunder. There should be a triggering warning on this thread, because it does talk about hanging.
     
  19. betteroff

    betteroff Member

    Don't try to hang yourself.

    If you fail, you never know in what kind of state you'll end up. Hanging can be really gruesome if not succesfull.

    And if succesfull, you'll be dead.
     
  20. LostSpirit

    LostSpirit Well-Known Member

    with hanging, i always believed, that when you do it, then your dead near enough instantly, i didnt think about what if it goes wrong,

    your experience sounds terrifying, this is a defo sign its not your time to go

    x
     
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