Sorry if i seem to ramble and things don't make any sense but I cannot wrap my mind around this at all. I have been a firefighter for about 3 years and i found out last friday that i can no longer work anymore due to, advanced cartilage and bone loss and osteoarthritis. I have been out of work since then and cannot believe it this has been my way of life for as long as i can remember, i feel like i am letting my family down. I know they say they are going to help me through this but i cannot wrap my head around this. The dept is trying to find me another position but they say it doesnt look good. I am trying to let the memories i had of the job keep me going, I dont know if anybody can understand but this was not only a job but a way of life for me. My kids eyes when i was going to work or coming home was awesome, they had this look of pride to see their daddy. I cant believe this.