Serious blow to my way of life, i cant believe it.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by rsand, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. rsand

    rsand Member

    Sorry if i seem to ramble and things don't make any sense but I cannot wrap my mind around this at all.

    I have been a firefighter for about 3 years and i found out last friday that i can no longer work anymore due to, advanced cartilage and bone loss and osteoarthritis. I have been out of work since then and cannot believe it this has been my way of life for as long as i can remember, i feel like i am letting my family down.

    I know they say they are going to help me through this but i cannot wrap my head around this. The dept is trying to find me another position but they say it doesnt look good. I am trying to let the memories i had of the job keep me going, I dont know if anybody can understand but this was not only a job but a way of life for me. My kids eyes when i was going to work or coming home was awesome, they had this look of pride to see their daddy. I cant believe this.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I understand if i lost my job i would not know what to do either. It brings me such enjoyment and pride. I would think you could help teaching the newer fighter fighters the ropes in theory I hope somehow they can keep you going to the area maybe even doing the dispatch work take care okay it will work out.
  3. rsand

    rsand Member

    I hope so, the only thing was i wasn't really around long enough to really be considered somebody that could really do any training. I have always been somebody that has preached that i will never be a "desk jockey" and damn here it comes, no offense to anybody that does do it its just not me or my lifestyle.

    When i realized that my depression was taking over my life i found that being physical, mountain biking, road biking, firefighting, kickboxing, running all kept my energy away from my "dark place". I've always had discomfort but thought well ok its just my kness responding to the activities, never would i have thought i would be done like this. If i keep my pace i will be confined to a wheelchair in no less then 3 years.

    I'm sorry if this seems like a frivolous thing to be complaining over but i dont want to be where i was 5 years ago, i have seen so much and never thought twice about not risking my life to make sure somebody or one of my partners was leaving the scene safely to see another day but this scares the hell out of me.