Seriously annoyed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Mar 22, 2008.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I took a lot of pills on Thursday night in the hope would work. Any way I discharged my self from hospital against medical advice and before psych people saw me. So I came home and thought maybe there was still hope for me hope as in ending it all and that it would work;. But 30hours after discharging myself I dont feel any effects so takeing it that it hasn't worked.
    I still want to end it. I seriously am having some sort of breakdown at the moment and i dont know what i cam do. All I can think about it how i can finish everything.

    Something in my planning needs to change. I start to freak out when I start being sick and get help, so need somthing without making me sick. My plans are now changing.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    You can alternatively make a plan of how to get better goldenpsych. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Also, pills are not an effective way of ending it. You're more likely to cause organ damage than death.
  3. titanic

    titanic Well-Known Member

    Glad that you are still alive, we would miss you on the forum.
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I dont bring anythingnother than messed up so i dont know why.
    I wonder whay sominex will do
  5. diver200

    diver200 Senior Member

    Golden, sominex will make you throw up. What you need to do is go back to the hospital for a while. I know it ain't easy, I've done that route a couple of times, but.... I did feel better, and I learned some ways to deal with the loneliness, and the pain. So please, reconsider and go back to the hospital....... :stretcher
  6. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    big hugs for you, goldenpsych.

    you have a few options. is your boyfriend back from his trip? can you go over to his house, or ask him to come over? can you call anyone else? you should not be alone right now. call someone.

    i know you have such mixed feelings about the ER... but perhaps they can keep you safe for a little while... but you have to be honest with them.

    you are not alone and you *can* beat this. i believe in you. you are so strong to have fought so long and so hard. you *can* keep fighting. just go and get help,

  7. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    The ER in this town dont do anything. I have taken some sleeping pills tonight so i can sleep tonight. I took the 8 sominex that were in the pack so i can sleep and not do anything else tonight. I am waiting for them to kick in to go to bed
  8. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I am not asking for help anymore as does not get me anything so i give up. If someone else wants to it is up to them but for me i give up as seems as though everyone else has!
  9. votestrike

    votestrike Member

    < mod edit > Then I had a severe brain stem stroke at age 35 & could not move at all. I could not talk, chew, swallow or even breath on my own. I could have died 11 times. I know what it is like to be abandoned, neglected, abused, raped, molested, drugged, verbally, physically & emotionally abused by myself & by others. I have alot of self-inflicted scars. And scars from hospitals & other events that should never happen to anyone.

    My mother died in 1999 in my arms. I know what it is like to have died. And I know what it is like to have everything taken away from you & have nothing. And start all over again on every level: potty training, talking, eating, reading, writing. I know what it is like to be bed ridden. I know what it is like to be in a wheelchair & not be able to fit through a bathroom door & pee all over myself & then not be able to reach far enough back to wipe my own butt, due to the paralysis from the stroke. I know what it is like to be alone...alot. I also learned what it is like to be a foriegner in my own country. Many of our doctors, nurses & even CNAs are imported from other countries.

    < mod edit >

    No more pills- they just cause health problems down the line from the toxic chemical build-up.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2008
  10. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    golden, i know you feel so alone right now. but i also know from your other posts that you are skilled at deflecting the help that they have offered at the ER - for instance, leaving before the psych can see you, telling them that you weren't suicidal and that you wouldn't harm yourself again, remember you were so angry that in the letter the social worker thought you wouldn't harm yourself when it was so obvious to you what you were going to do next? remember printing off the 15 pages of posts to mail to your doctor so he would know how suicidal you felt?

    part of you wants to die, just wants to end the pain and suffering. i get that. but part of you wants to live. please listen to and nurture that part of you that wants to live. you have everything you need to get well already within you... nothing wrong with getting some help along the way, but you need to extend to yourself the love and compassion you so often share with us.

  11. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I cant though. i wish someone else wud
  12. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Golden, please don't go through with your plans, I know how hard things must be for you right now, but you must get help. Do you have a GP you can talk to about a refferal to a propper psychologist? You deserve to live and succeed in life, death is so final. Please hold on Golden.
  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    golden, hold on. you are an amazing, talented, smart woman. you are suffering so much but this will pass, i promise.

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