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Seriously need help :(

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Hi, I am a 17 year old male, soon enough 18 and to be frank, I have never had a proper friend never mind a girlfriend both of which I want.

I fear I have lost almost all social skills I have, or maybe I never had them; either way I find it extremely hard just to talk to people, I have not really a phobia of people, more of not knowing what to say every time I attempt to talk to someone I always say something stupid and weird.

Is there anyway how I can learn to develop social skills ? I tried to contact old "friend" out of desperation to make social links again to find I was abandoned straight away, this man was my only friend until he sexually assaulted me. I seriously do not know what to do, I just can't trust anyone anymore, those that I trusted betrayed me, I grew up as a loner fighting off people that would attack me daily and I am almost considering taking the coward's way out.

I am also scared of all psychical reaction thanks a lot to my old "friend" and the amount of abuse I got in school. I am sick of my looks, even looking at people scares them why must i be considered a monster?

I am becoming extremely mentally depressed, as I look at other people I just make a swift judgment that they are bad people due to their vocabulary, dress, even if they look attractive.

To top it all off, I have had a unrequited love in which I have not recovered in after a year, I never even psychically touched her which makes me feel even more pathetic.

I have sought help in my town however they say there is nothing they can do, maybe they think I'm a lost cause as I cannot even socially react to people is there anything i can do?


Antiquities Friend
Staff Alumni
Right, there's no help available :ohmy: ?
You are a victim of abuse and it has given you trust issues. There must be some group or counselling available somewhere. Get to your doctor and explain the whole lot to him/her before the depression and self hating becomes entrenched.
Don't be fobbed either, there must be at least counselling available.


Well-Known Member
Well I am in your same boat. I am learning how to socialize at the tender age of 21. The net is the best place to learn in my book. Here you can ask questions free of embarrassment and when you have learned what you wanted you can disappear into the 1s and 0s.

First you will need a friend someone you can trust. Someone new will do just fine. The best way to get a friend like this is to go to clubs. Find something that interests you and go to a club. Then do just enough to make it known you are there. And someone with some amount of courage will come talk to you. :rolleyes: No one knows what to say let the person who started the conversation lead it. And over time you will get more comfortable talking to this person. And eventually you can ask them these questions.

It happened to me, I met another guy he talked to me I talked back we talked more and more. I found out we had a lot in common. and after 3 years I finally mustered up the courage to ask the questions. He is willing to teach me what he knows.

It just takes time friend some of us do not learn to socialize. But you have the desire and that is the first step.

Today I may have still never had a girlfriend hell I have never even had a female I could call a friend, in real life. But I am making changes to one day change that. It may not be till I am 30 but whatever small steps are better than no steps.


I am 28 and consider myself a social retard, I have no desire to reach out to people and or socialise except on the net and with some family.. this for me is because of suffering from an autistic spectrum disorder called asperger syndrome
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