Seriously suicidal. Seriously scared.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Woodsmoke, Jul 3, 2012.

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  1. Woodsmoke

    Woodsmoke Well-Known Member

    I WANT to do it.

    I am scared stiff of the consequences of failure. The PHYSICAL consequences. Swelling up, organ damage, all those things I'm sure I need not name.

    I have all the pills I need to make an attempt. Tons of them.

    But what if I fail?

    I had them in my hand earlier... So badly I want to die.

    Someone call me a freaking ambulance, or this may be the last night I live.
  2. MistyMaisy

    MistyMaisy Well-Known Member

    Please, don't. I've felt that way before too but some days it feels better. Some days it don't. You have so much to live for.. <3
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I hope you called an ambulance for yourself hun
    let us know how you are..
    you're right to be concerned about the side effects if your method fails..could end up with more problems than you already have..
    please seek help to your GP, a friend or get to ER and tell them how you feel
  4. Alex94

    Alex94 Member

    i really hope you called an ambulance.
    But NEVER go out by overdosing, if things go wrong, there are terrible consequences, and it is very painful.
    Try get friends or family to help you and keep an eye on you, even if its to put you in a center for people like us.
  5. Woodsmoke

    Woodsmoke Well-Known Member

    I'm still here. My sister came home and since she's always popping into my room I knew I'd never get away with it. Still suicidal, though today is a little bit better. My wrist is rather sliced up, however. :( I felt stupid calling an ambulance. I thought they'd call me a waste of time. I want to get help. But I never know what they will say, if they'll even bother putting me in a centre or call me ridiculous. FEAR FEAR ALWAYS FEAR!!!
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I know how you feel, after I took an overdose, my new doc (now ex doc) called me ridiculous, told me to grow up and act my age. She just didn't have a clue.But I'd still say to get help or call your local crisis team, 'cos there are those who DO have a clue and know how to help. Look after yourself, :hug:
  7. tykata

    tykata Member

    My doctor was (and still is) really supportive the times i've attempted, the only awkward moment was when I had to have blood tests for liver/kidney damage and the nurse asked what she should put down as the reason for testing. Her face when I said post suicide attempt checkup was one of surprise but of compassion. I really hope that your feelings of suicide will pass, to echo what's already been said overdose is extremely painful and the side effects can be long lasting. Though I hate to use the old addage, suicide is a permenant solution to an often temporary problem. We care, I care, keep youself safe please :hug:
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    so pleased you're still here...
    ambulance workers are used to tending suicidal people and are usually very compassionate..
    don't be afraid to call them...
    i've been taken to hospital by ambulance when the police called them after a family member called the police when I was suicidal..they were really caring
    perhaps you can talk to your doctor about how you're feeling or get yourself to ER and be honest about being suicidal
    there is help out there...don't give up :hug:
  9. Woodsmoke

    Woodsmoke Well-Known Member

    What will they do to me once an ambulance comes or my doctor knows? I get sent somewhere? There's a mental hospital near me. Would they send me there for a stay? I am in fear, again.
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    sorry I didn't see your latest post woodsmoke..
    How are you doing ?
    When I was sent to hospital they kept me in ER for quite a few hours , had me assessed and then sent me home with an appointment to see a T asap.
    then i had home visits for a while (therapist) and then discharged from thier care
    depends which country you're in too.
    whatever they do for you is way better than you killing yourself..while you're still here there is hope of finding a solution to your problems :hug:
  11. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    It's hard to kill ourselves, for one very reasonable reason - we are not meant to!

    So, if we're not meant to, there MUST be something else.

    It's a question of finding it,........ and if we don't believe it is there, then it's a question of changing our mind so we are willing to believe that it's there..........

    And that is what we are here for, hun :)

    It IS possible to get a different perspective, however much that doesn't seem possible right now - there are things which do change our perspective when we want that enough :)
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