Seriously this time, I may be cleanly locking my account and email soon

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DrivEthermissIon, Dec 5, 2009.

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  1. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    *wipes away tears* The SF romance with me is most likely coming to an end guys...

    I seriously may have to leave SF soon. I just made a crisis thread post before this. I'm locked in a downward spiral, and there's only one way forward - down...

    Made a few enemies here, I have nothing against them but they hate my volatile behaviour and how it affected them. I warned them though, they didn't believe me, they thought I was a lamb, I'M A FUCKING DEMON. Shades told me all staff members he spoke to say I'm a fantastic guy whose heart is in the right place, but I push the boundaries and apologise profusely. But one doesn't equate to the other - it's all failure.

    If I do this, I will be saying goodbye to the girl of my dreams, coz she knows the email :cry:

    But though a demon, I am a shining knight, and on my quest I must reach The Impossible Dream http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbXODfj8NYo . It's something Wayne would never be able to do. You might say 'You can do this and this' But I'm not allowed to :) . And it will show that I was willing to sacrifice what I held most dear to conquer all the horror within and without and succeed 100.00% . Whispers: God that's going to be hard...

    Musical "Man of La Mancha" - The Impossible Dream Lyrics


    Lyrics by Joe Darion
    In this song, Quixote explains his quest and the reasons behind it ... in doing so,
    he captures the essence of the play and its philosophical underpinnings.
    (For me, it is absolutely magical.)

    To dream ... the impossible dream ...
    To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
    To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
    To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
    To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
    To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
    To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
    To reach ... the unreachable star ...

    This is my quest, to follow that star ...
    No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
    To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
    To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

    And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
    That my heart will lie will lie peaceful and calm,
    when I'm laid to my rest ...
    And the world will be better for this:
    That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
    Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
    To reach ... the unreachable star ...

    It's always been my fault *tears* Don't have compassion for this sinner guys ;__; someday I'll be the best saint, but here, I'm a worthless, unemployed, dying, poisonous wretch. World...I'm so sorry. Dearest Father in Heaven, please forgive me, okay? God I hope those around me don't hear me crying.

    Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me. 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Forgive me. Forgive me.

    I don't wish to cause any more damage, anywhere online.

    Edit - reply to Wayne - Leave the girl-of-your-dreams like I am going to leave mine.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2009
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug: Please don't leave.
     
  3. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    remember to smile Chris :)

    Focus on the positive! all the friends you have made here. how much you have helped people here. :)
     
  4. Confusticated

    Confusticated Well-Known Member

    I don't mean to appear hostile, but what is it you think that I could never do, hm? I'd love to hear it.
     
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    you know we all have a little demon inside of us. Instead of giving up, why not learn from your mistake? In life we all grow and change. Mistakes are there to help us grow and be a better person...take this as an opportunity to help yourself...

    we all have enemies, people who don't like us...its their loss I say...

    don't give up so easily:IrishDoll:
     
  6. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    I don't understand.
     
  7. KirstyMissJimBob

    KirstyMissJimBob Well-Known Member

    dont leave....stay..im here, you have my msn! <3
     
  8. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    I'll like to hear it too. What you said to Wayne seems rather harsh and an ill guessed assumption.
     
  9. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    My reply

    Edit - reply to Wayne - Leave the girl-of-your-dreams like I am going to leave mine.

    He didn't reply and say he saw that in my post. Since he is well-known for his love for his gf, I didn't think I did any harm whatsoever, anyway, I'm done here.

    Bye.
     
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