Seriously whats the point...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by M4GICHAT, Apr 13, 2014.

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  1. M4GICHAT

    M4GICHAT New Member

    My life has changed a lot in the past 4 years since highschool. I went from being extremely happy, confident, motivated, popular, social, basically a perfect state of mind but now its the complete opposite I was into many sports had girlfriends and was always an attractive guy. I've become extremely isolated and have very few friends. I'm no longer my confident social self and the isolation is making me more lonely by the week. All I do now is sit in my apt. watch netflix, play xbox, go to classes, and study, and train at the gym. Idk whats wrong with my brain chemistry. I've lost about 30 once really close friends down to 1. I haven't had a legitimate girlfriend in 4 years except random hookups. I really want a woman back in my life. I miss their kiss, that intimacy. I still notice girls check me out but I'm just not who I once was. I can't communicate well, I'm developing some social anxiety that I'm aware is completely ridiculous. Its as if I can't connect or form relationships with strangers anymore. I don't participate in class except lab, I don't have anyone to text on my campus, I am becoming socially awkward at times. Yet at the same time I'm really quite normal...I still have a familiarity with normal and I can have many casual comfortable convos but its all dependent on who and just whether or not my nervous system decides to give me anxiety. Anyways I could ramble on about so many things family, school, health but I won't do that to anyone.

    I guess what I'm trying to get across is I feel lonely, the need for love and interaction but its getting farther and farther away, not closer..I'm trying to fight it. We are all going to die one day, no one really understands whats going on, what life is...so what's the shame or negative outlook on suicide all about? Why not just leave peacefully if I want?
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi M4DICHAT i hear you but why not at this time reach out to a therapist one that can help you with your anxiety issues someone to talk to to help you guide you through whatever it is you are feeling ok. Talk to a councilor at your school maybe the doc there and see if a medication may help your anxiety and social awkwardness Don't give up yet ok not without trying other options
     
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