I haven't been on here in agess coz I was worried my boyfriend would see I'd been on a depression forum and find out I was depressed. Well he knows now anyway. I basically am living for nothing, I'll never amount to anything coz I've had to drop out of college twice coz of depression. And I can't face going back. I can't get a job because I'd be too miserable and end up quitting. I can't even try to get over this because the doctors won't do anything useful because I'm apparently too young, although she did diagnose that I had depression. I hate everything about myself... and I can't stand it. I swear I only live for my pets. I can't do anything right apparently, didn't think I could anyway but my parents prove it. (and I don't mean a stupid kiddy tantrum saying "i hate my parents"...my dad is an arsehole and apparently me and my mam have a class of personalities). I basically have no friends now - they all just abandon me as soon as they get a bf so what's the point in trying to socialise there? Most people I meet piss me off anyway. I sit in the house every day with nothing much to look forward to. I hardly go out, and when I do I have panic attacks or just feel like crying. So I can't win there. I can't even stand looking at myself in the mirror. I feel so stressed and annoyed right now that I either wanna hurt myself or break something. Rambling on but I have no one I can fully talk to. I've done my boyfriends head in with it all, and my friends either don't care or don't understand. Someone PLEASE tell me it can only get better I've been like this (and slowly getting worse) for the past 4 years.