Seriously whats the point?

[nezumiceplak]

I haven't been on here in agess coz I was worried my boyfriend would see I'd been on a depression forum and find out I was depressed. Well he knows now anyway.
I basically am living for nothing, I'll never amount to anything coz I've had to drop out of college twice coz of depression. And I can't face going back.
I can't get a job because I'd be too miserable and end up quitting.
I can't even try to get over this because the doctors won't do anything useful because I'm apparently too young, although she did diagnose that I had depression.
I hate everything about myself... and I can't stand it.
I swear I only live for my pets.
I can't do anything right apparently, didn't think I could anyway but my parents prove it. (and I don't mean a stupid kiddy tantrum saying "i hate my parents"...my dad is an arsehole and apparently me and my mam have a class of personalities).
I basically have no friends now - they all just abandon me as soon as they get a bf so what's the point in trying to socialise there? Most people I meet piss me off anyway.
I sit in the house every day with nothing much to look forward to. I hardly go out, and when I do I have panic attacks or just feel like crying. So I can't win there.
I can't even stand looking at myself in the mirror.
I feel so stressed and annoyed right now that I either wanna hurt myself or break something.

Rambling on but I have no one I can fully talk to. I've done my boyfriends head in with it all, and my friends either don't care or don't understand.




Someone PLEASE tell me it can only get better I've been like this (and slowly getting worse) for the past 4 years.

 

[jameslyons]

Hey there.

Ican understand how frustrating it is to have to drop out of school for depression. I abandoned my schooling mid-session last semester and I'll probably do it again this semester, because frankly most of my schooling has been seriously affected by heavy bouts of recurring depression.

Depression can make you feel awful and unloved. It's really hard to deal with. But the good news is that life does get better. Slowly you learn new tricks to keep yourself moving along or to blunt the edge of depressive attacks.

And when it gets too hard there's always talking to people. If you ever need to unload on someone I'm available.

Best wishes,

James.

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

Things can improve. Firstly start off with seeing how college goes for you. Also it sounds like staying in the house too long is driving you crazy, so why not go for a walk or see a relative.
Take things one by one, it won't be easy but as long as you want to change things then you can do it.

 

[nezumiceplak]

I dropped out too long ago to go back to college...
and I'm a "mosher" so if I went for a walk round where I live, I'd seriously get attacked

 

[Anime-Zodiac]

I've seen people of various ages at college, so it can't be too late for you unless they won't accept you anymore or you have financial problems.
Do you have a bike, you could go for a cycle somewhere.