Seriously

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by anonymous member, Mar 11, 2007.

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  1. What is it with the hundreds of threads from the same people. "Please don't kill yourself, if you do I will too", "I'm killing myself tonight", "I'm leaving the forum". There are thousands of people on this forum and not everyone wants to know the ins and outs of every conversation that goes on between 4 individuals.

    If you post every single day saying you're going to kill yourself RIGHT NOW, eventually people won't believe you anymore. I do not want for anyone to kill themselves, but I think people need to be aware of how their behavior is affecting many members.

    If you need attention (and there is nothing wrong with that) be honest and say so. Don't make out you're going to die tonight unless a few people on the forum "save" you. Actually, only you can save you from yourself. So why not be honest with what you need, and get some help for your issues.

    The forum is being flooded by posts that should be kept to PMs, from people trying to outdo eachother's problems. One starts drinking or cutting or burning and within days, the other starts doing the same. Can anyone else see how unhealthy this is for all involved? And for the forum as a whole too. I know of several members who are staying away from the forum because of this, myself included. This is not a guilt trip thread for those involved, it's a plea for you to stop and think.
     
  2. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Amen to that! :hug:
     
  3. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I'm just not seeing it. Perhaps a mod or someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm guessing this place averages about 300-400 posts per day, and a lot of those (like about a third, maybe more) are just add-ons to fun, lounge type threads. Hardly "hundreds of threads" of any kind here.

    There's nowhere near that many active members...as in those that have been on in the last 90 or so days. Maybe what you're complaining about is part of the reason for that, but I'm not sure. :unsure:

    Maybe, but if they're not violating the Terms of Service, I'm not really sure what's so bad.

    I personally do not do this, but I can see why somebody in crisis, in a heat of the moment episode might. And I think restricting it would cause bigger problems than it would solve. What do you suggest as a solution? Stepped up bannings and putting more people on moderation?

    I'd think that when you come to a forum called "www.suicideforum.com" you'd have a pretty good idea that it isn't going to be all fuzzy pink bunnies and floppy puppies and cute kitties, don't you? :smile: Sorry to be sarcastic, but I'm not sure how you expect somebody to behave here, nor exactly what you'd like the adminstration to do when somebody steps out of line.

    I just put it down to a lot of people not being the most stable at times. Like I said, this www.suicideforum.com, not www.carebears.com , and I think everybody needs to adjust their expectations to the site we're on.

    Then why come to a forum at all?

    I don't see this forum exactly being "flooded" with posts of any kind, though if my gut feeling of the number of posts being made on a daily basis is off, perhaps I'm wrong there.

    I can certainly see how it would be unhealthy, I just don't see Member X's behavior directly causing Members Y and Z to start doing the same thing in any of the posts I've read lately. Nobody I've read is announcing anything like this, anyway. And if it is going on it should certainly be reported immediately. I can't imagine any posts of such a nature would be unedited for very long.

    Once you leave out suicide methods, encouraging others to hurt or kill themselves or insults or threats directed at others, I'm under the impression that pretty much anything goes, and that it has always been this way. I admit I'm still rather a n00b here, so perhaps that's wrong as well.

    But I think I honestly prefer it that way, personally. And I think the administration does a very good job at how they handle things.

    Stopping and thinking is very tough for a lot of folks to do here in the heat of the moment. Heck, isn't venting even encouraged in this particular sub-forum? Not a lot of stopping and thinking there.

    My $.02 and doubtless worth every penny.

    Patrick
     
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Patrick, with respect, you are missing the point and I think you've been missing recent events here. My main concern with the people involved is that that by posting their issues with each other on the forum they are only hurting themselves more and I don't think it is solving anything. I've stayed back, and I've just observed and it's clear the people involved care a lot for each other, maybe that's why when they fall out or things happen it hurts so much. I really think taking up these issues via messenger/PM/e-mail, in a more private setting will be less painful, and will help them instead of posting on the forum to let the others read it.

    I'm not saying don't post on the forum at all, crikey. I'm not saying that at all. You are all welcome to post but please take into consideration other peoples feelings, and you can approach the issue with the individual(s) you have a problem with via messengers/e-mail/PMs etc. I'm sure it would be less painful for everyone.

    I am careful how I'm wording things because I don't want them coming out the wrong way, and the last thing I want is to upset anyone.

    The people involved may know who I'm talking about, it's not like I'm talking behind your back - you can read it here. You don't have to do what has been suggested, but either way, I hope you get your problems with each other sorted soon.

    I wasn't going to reply to this thread again, but I kinda jumped in after the first post and I wanted to make my feelings more clear. Hope that's ok!
     
  5. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Personal conversations and disagreements are just that.. PERSONAL, there is no reason why they should be brought to the public forums.
     
  6. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    I honestly don't think so. In particular,

    (1)I find no basis to the claim that the forum is being "flooded" with posts. In fact, the place often seems pretty dead.
    (2)I haven't seen anything llike what was claimed where one person who would start drinking or SH'ing being motivation for others to do the same.

    I've seen this as well. I think it goes on at EVERY forum to an extent.

    Potentially it could clear the air, don't you think? FWIW, I don't do it, and have no interest in doing it. However, as long as it doesn't degenerate into insults I think any attempt to restrict it would be a cure worse than the problem.

    I think it makes for some rather tedious reading, personally, but that's me. However, as long as the parties involved don't have issues with it being done this way I see no reason why others should, either. It is easy enough to skip such threads.

    Sure, and if everyone involved in the thread has no problem with it being done that way?

    In my case, don't worry. In fact I'd prefer that someone point out to me that I'm wrong and use strong language about it rather than have them worry about hurting my feelings. As long as it is specific.

    I personally don't find it particularly compelling reading, but my concern is that any attempts to "correct" this will cause far more problems than they'll solve.
     
  7. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I knew I shouldn't have replied to this thread, I tried to explain as best as I could and I knew whatever way I explained, it would come out wrong. Unfortunately, I don't think I can explain my above post any clearer, it's my point of view. I'm sorry if I offended. I think Hazel explained perfectly.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 12, 2007
  8. worlds edge

    worlds edge Well-Known Member

    :what: Aren't most of the important threads on this board personal in nature?

    There's no reason anyone should start threads about their favorite foods, movies or what you happen to be wearing, either, is there? But people do. Its the sort of thing people do to pass the time.

    Like I said, I'd certainly object to this stuff to the extent it violates the ToS, but I'm not really seeing what makes such discussion threads so objectionable as a thing in and of themselves. Especially if it is confined to the "let it all out" type subforums, maybe even the "soapbox."

    The funny part is, like I've said a few times already, these sort of threads aren't really my cup of tea. But I figure for those who like them, go to it.
     
  9. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    I think the problem is that a lot of people express their feelings of depression in such a way as posting threads saying I'm leaving goodbye, and I am going to die tonight. This site is obviously going to be full of people who are on the edge and will act like this because of their depression. These people want to be heard but might find it hard to say things unobjectionally because of the distress they are going through, or they might crave attention. If it is like Peter and the Wolf and other members switch off, will that make them better, or will they get worse and worse until they actually do die? As for it affecting other members, I have come off here a few times feeling quite low from reading threads. Especially ones where someone is saying how life is so shitty and then someone else agreeing (i'm not saying anyone is wrong for doing that btw, but it did affect me). But that is a risk that comes with a site like this. Either restrict everyones posts which could be dangerous or let people carry on with the possibility that they may affect others which could be dangerous.
    What it boils down to is that this is a suicide forum, it's not like any other forum I know and I think it needs the most careful consideration when thinking about this like this. People's lives are at risk on here and this is a place where many people come because they have nothing left (or think so).
     
  10. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    It seems some people go thru severe mood swings and when they hit so far down they feel they just want out and instead of saying just that they say they are doing it, even though they know they probably don't but they want people to know how much pain they are in (not everyone but noticed here and there) that's all I have to say, but yes, it can cause people to not beleive you are gunna do something... but yes, after a certain point, like Hazel said, it should be taken up privately.



    :grouphug:
     
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I know exactly what anonymous means. It has caused problems amongst others at the forum. Everything stated should not be taken apart word by word or even statement by statement. Things need to be looked at as an entire entitiy. I am sorry (or actually I am glad) that you (gmork) have not been affected by these threads. So maybe it wasn't hundreds of posts each day, the number doesn't really matter. For a bit of time the majority of the posts were things that should have been taken care of in PMs or through another channel. People were staying away because of it. I also know some that left the forum for the same reason. Yes, care needs to be taken, by all. Perhaps I should have remained quiet as well. Not sure any of what I have to say is of importance anyway.
     
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