Sertraline/Aripiprazole And ABJECT MISERY And Disinterest

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scareddude, Jul 9, 2014.

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  1. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    Sorry to keep posting.

    I'm on 10mg aripiprazole and 50mg sertraline, and I'm in ABJECT MISERY.

    I can't focus on anything. I don't care about anything. If they drop my aripiprazole though, I care about stupid things e.g. think I'm going to have a maths breakthrough that'll make me loads of money and chase that dream at the expense of everything else. I don't even study maths properly, I just use high school maths to try to find my breakthrough.

    They say "I'd rather be unhappy and educated than be a happy pig." Well I'm an UNHAPPY PIG.

    I've said in other threads that I have lots of maths textbooks I'd like to study, and I'd like to read more and go back to uni and get my degree and an interesting job. But I've spent today in complete misery, doing nothing, just like every other day for the past four years. And I'm worried I have brain damage from my medication etc/that I wasn't that bright to begin with, so I'm not sure I'll be able to understand as much maths as I'd like.

    My day: woke up at 5am, felt uninterested so went back to sleep/lay in bed until 11:30 am. Didn't bother going to volunteering. Moped around the house until about 1, went out for cigarettes and cider. Drank the cider and passed out in bed at about 3. Woke up at about 6:30, moped some more, posted trash on forums, listened to some music but didn't enjoy it, that pretty much sums it up.

    I've got my psychiatrist in just under a month, and that's really my last hope. I have a plan in place to end it if he doesn't have anything for me...but knowing stupid me, I'll just keep going with my stupid hope, day after day in pain.

    I want to see if mood stabilisers or ADHD meds would help...
     
  2. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    I've spent the last few days just trying to sleep constantly.
     
  3. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Sometimes these tablets medicines can take a while to kick and and sometimes they make you feel worse before you feel better, did you discuss this with doctor, or could you possibly go back an discuss some support in the meantime?
     
  4. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    My psychiatrist won't be seeing me until the beginning of August. He's on holiday until then.

    I've been on these medications over a year now.
     
  5. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Ah okay I apologise was just a thought, have you discussed if there is something more they could be doing, alternative medication etc, do you think the drinking is affecting your mood/behaviour? Again just thoughts so I do apologise if I am going down the wrong path
     
  6. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    I have tried to discuss alternative medications e.g. mood stabilisers or ADHD medications. But I don't have the formal diagnoses which permit these treatments, though my psychiatrist now knows about my moderate suicide attempt and suicidal thoughts, so maybe he'll have more to suggest next time I see him.

    The drinking might be affecting things. It's hard to stop though. I stop, and I might feel okay-ish sometimes, but it's so damn boring, because I'm not interested in anything. Then I get depressed/look for a route out of my boredom and turn to alcohol.

    Any attempt to help is appreciate in my eyes, and I think you're going down a decent path of inquiry. These are thoughts I've been having too :)
     
  7. scareddude

    scareddude Well-Known Member

    Didn't take my medication today and surprise surprise I feel GREAT. I'm not suggesting others do the same of course.
     
  8. JV3

    JV3 Well-Known Member

    As I've stated on this site before, I had a difficult time with meds. For me, they never made things better, but they just made things different. The most succesful combination of meds for me, though, was when I was taking two different anti-depressants (prozac and paxil) along with an ADHD medication (aderall). This really stabilized my emotions for the most part and I really wasn't struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts anymore, but it really put me in a lethargic, zombie-like state all the time. I was on that regiment for about 6 months before I took myself off of it and decided to go cold turkey. While I do believe I have done better coping with my own problems without medication, I honestly can't say that the time where I was taking the ADHD medication with the antidepressants didn't help me. It very well could have stabilized me enough to get to the point to where I could take myself off meds; so, ADHD medication may be something that could help. My doctor told me at the time that mixing medications like they did with me was very uncommon, but obviously that combination did prove more effective then anything else up to that point. I'm not an expert or licensed doctor, but maybe you could mention it just as a possibility when you see your doctor next.
     
  9. nessa456

    nessa456 Active Member

    Aripiprazole is an anti-psychotic - I wouldn't recommend these drugs to anyone - they kill your thoughts basically. You might need to remain on the Sertraline for the anti-depressant effects but I would discuss coming off the Aripiprazole with your doctor. I was given it by the last psychiatrist I saw and have not taken it as I have taken anti-psychotics in the past and felt terrible on them.
     
  10. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Nessa I think it's unwise to deter people from taking their drugs. Anti psychotics help a wide range of people, myself included. If I didn't take anti psychotics I would be in a big mess. It's about getting the right balance of drugs. Scareddude hasn't found that right mix yet.

    To the OP: You need to keep pushing your psychiatrist to perhaps try some new meds as your current mix is not working.
     
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