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Session today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigman2232, Feb 13, 2009.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    So I made it to my therapy session today. Two things stood out.

    1) That she highly recommends I see a doctor to be put on meds to help control my negative views.

    2) That I'm even frustrating her now. I've given up so she can even see that most of the stuff she says is just, yup, but no follow through.

    I just really don't care anymore and just wish I could go into a coma or just be dead. No more worries, no more anything. I'm not going to get anything that is going to make me want to stick around any time soon, so I just wish it was over.

    Stupid thoughts in my head that will never be reality and only serve to make things hurt more. It's one thing to imagine unrealistic things and try for them but it's another to know that they are unrealistic but still dream about them anyways. I'm fucked up and I just need to end.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    i am glad you wrote .. i am having similiar situations with two separate therapists. . i am not sure they are HEARING me. .. and i don't want meds. but one is insisting....

    so i understand, which is my point. here - we do understand. and it is a caring place - we all try to lean on each other and support each other. i hope you find support here. reach out - for sure - i care what happens to you! xxx hugs
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're having such a frustrating time. Therapists are sometimes annoying.

    I can't offer any advice; I only see therapists in the hospital.

    But at least there are empathetic people on this board who are really helpful.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Bigman,
    You have to give it a chance. It took me three tries to find a therapist I could talk to. It also took two years to open up and tell all, so she could formulate a treatment plan. I'm on my third year and have seen the changes it has made.
    I went fourteen years just lieing in bed wishing I was dead. I was in seveere depression. I have been in the hospital ten times over those fourteen years. I am still suicidal but have learned to cope with it. My therapist says it will be with me for the rest of my life. But I deal with it on a dailey basis.
    As long as you try you can't be considered a failure. You obviously still have a spark of positive thinking or you wouldn't be here. Let us help!! You have been here long enough to know how supportive we are. Let us offer you a shoulder to lean on while you change the mind set you are currently in...Take Care my friend!!~Joseph~
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Relationships take time and patience...reality and bravery...there is no one on the planet that can be there for anyone else 100%...we all have our limits, our egos and our pre-set notions...one session, no matter how significant, cannot determine the course of a clinical relationship...see what is there for you and ask for what you need...self-advocacy is crucial when receiving support...big hugs, J
  6. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    With clinical depression often you need an anti-depressant to help boost your motivation. They aren't the answer to everything, and they aren't the happy pill everyone says they are but they can help you get to the starting point where you want to try. A few years ago i gave up, then i was given effexor and as sceptical as i was then and still am, i have to admit it did allow me to get to a point where i decided to put one foot in front of the other again. I was stupid and came off them about 6months ago and i've noticed a spiral downward since, i know i should go back on them but my mood is so low i don't have the strength to even reach for something that i know probably will help - how sad is that!!
    I'm in therapy too and i'm as equally frustrating for my therapist, the sad thing is that i know that although the talking does help me get from week to week, it isn't building a life. What is the point in being told things you know you should do but don't? I frustrate myself at times never mind my therapist!
    I understand what you mean about unrealistic dreams, i have them, i know they'll never come true. But sometimes i have a flicker when i think 'but what if they are possible and the depression is telling me they aren't? What if i am capable?'. Nothing is possible if we don't try. At least you have some dreams...means you still have some hope left.

    But i say all this and i'm not taking my own advice so you should probably just ignore me. But i wanted you to know that anti-depressants can help when you get the right one. I didn't believe it, guess with the depression overwhelming me now and telling me everything will always be pointless, i don't know either, but there was a time when i did feel it helping and i did take a step forward.
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