set a date

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by foreverYoung180, May 8, 2010.

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  1. foreverYoung180

    foreverYoung180 Well-Known Member

    i had been doing so well lately. actually happy even, and then just the same feelings again. i stopped medication and stopped going to therapy. meds weren't working. now im just starting the process of getting it over with.
    one by one im making my friends mad at me on purpose and alienating them so they wont be there to stop me or care. i have to finish my big project of planning my funeral. itll be one less thing for my mom to worry about. she's the only reason that i sometimes come back to sanity and want to stay. but i can't stay. no one understands. if i could..i know i could do something with my life, but i know i cant and i wont live like this any longer. everything is worthless and i feel like no one would care. except for my mom, but somehow thats not enough. ive been thinking about making it look like an accident. and i don't know if this is weird, but i want to go on my birthday. thats how im going to celebrate my birthday this year. which means i don't have much time.

    i know no one wants another person to commit suicide. but, the fact is i have to. and i just want to make this as less painful as possible. would you have any advice on how i can make things less painful for those i leave behind? i hate asking advice on it, but id rather try my best to make things better than worse.
  2. foreverYoung180

    foreverYoung180 Well-Known Member

    i forgot to add that no one noticed i was gone on here. and so, i don't think anyone will notice in the real world either
  3. shamps

    shamps Well-Known Member

    I dont know you but I wouldnt want you to hurt yourself,I care,we all care.Thats what this place is for.Please dont do this.I know this is probably going to fall on deaf ears as you seem to have given this plenty of thought but think of your mum.Im sure she would be devastated and no im not trying to guilt trip you into staying im just simply trying to prove to you that there is reason to stay with us.

    Are you receiving any help from a doctor or therapy of any sort?Medication,do you take any?If not there is help out there for you.I know exactly what you are saying,I too feel totally alone in the world and dont even have my mother to fall back on,so you have one more person than me to help you through.This is good it means there is a point to your life,it may not feel much at the moment but you can build on it later when you are feeling a bit better,Please dont do this I have felt the same (twice in a very short period of time)but these guys have been brilliant and im still here and trying to plod on.

    It may be a good idea to go to the hospital if you are feeling that bad hun.You can pm if you want to chat but I just want you to know that there are other options than suicide.

    *hugs* for you x
  4. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I have just accepted that I cannot make things easier for those I leave behind. No amount of words or presents can make them not feel the way I want them too. It is best to just give up on trying to ease the blow.
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