Set up

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by alice0705, Dec 15, 2007.

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  1. alice0705

    alice0705 Well-Known Member

    This is sort of a slow burn crises.

    When I was a young adult, I was painfully shy and almost reclusive. I came out of it slowly by making myself talk to people, speak up, etc. Gradually, I was able to start being myself around people. It was a very painful process.

    At this job I have, one of the upper management started to like the work I was doing. She would ask me to do special projects, etc. It felt really good to finally be doing okay and fitting in somewhere.

    I was set up by a co-worker. I still cannot believe it. One day, this lady was all happy and liked me and my work. The next day, she was angry. I don't want to give the details but I did some research and found out what happened. A coworker who saw me as a threat set me up BIG TIME. All of it was totally untrue.

    The point of my big OUCH with this, is not so much even the job, but it triggers all those old insecurities and issues with people that kept me paralyzed for so long. You know, the old, why is the world so unfair, so awful, yada yada. I feel like I am trying to maintain but having this boss treat me so bad when I really was the innocent victim of a setup. ???

    So, I just wanted to vent. It is really difficult. I have tried to clear it up, but I am not very savvy with communication. This guy who set me up is a dynamo! Very smooth and believable. I actually had the guts to ask for a mediation (which I was proud of myself for having the guts) but I failed in the meeting because of my shyness. He basically smoked me in front of the mediator because of his MANY skills with people.

    So, just venting. Thanks for listening. I know in the big picture, this is not a big deal. It snowballs for me though...I start thinking about how this type of thing happens with politicians, big companies, evil dictators in other countries. The honest, nice guy gets squashed by the conniving powerful. sigh...see this is how my mind works, and then I get in a funky mood!:hiding:
  2. PontyCruizer

    PontyCruizer Well-Known Member

  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Me too! And the lower I get the more the world is a terrible place. But you have the strength to crawl up and start again. Congratulations on fighting your demons. You must of felt so good about yourself after all that hard work to bring yourself around. Just keep thinking of all that you have accomplished and how good it feels to be there. Hopefully that will help you this time around. You've done most of the hard work to get there already so this time will be easier. Keep safe.
  4. Carcinogen

    Carcinogen Well-Known Member

    Yeah I agree with itmahanh, you've done a hell of a lot to get where you are, be proud of that. It's shit you got set up, especially after you've come so far - is there no way you can expose him for the liar he is? The only other thing I can think of is wait a couple of months, then take revenge, but then again, that would be 'lowering yourself to his standard' and could backfire, so maybe not the best idea. So perhaps all I can say is keep trying, be proud of what you've achieved and dealing with people should eventually get easier.
  5. alice0705

    alice0705 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for all the replies and support. Will try again and then, if that does not work, try to move on. "Normal" people seem to be able to turn off other people's opinions or motives or actions. I wish I could do this! Like, this guy does not care that half of the office thinks he is a jerk. I need to be stronger!! And, stop caring about other people!!
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