i've cut three times today starting this morning. had to call in sick no way to bandage without questions and so much blood. i'm dealing with 2 creditors who are being unreasonable. i have a second job but they won't accept what i can afford to pay them. fucking plunderers. been blasting 'altars of madness' by morbid angel all day and masturbating. cut a baphomet into my stomach. god i';m fucked in the head. soryy just rambling. the hole feels deeper and darker today. will I ever get out and STAY out of this hole. keep falling back into darkness.