I hate the taste of alcohol, I have to force myself to even keep it down. I drink the strongest stuff I can so I can just get it down and not have to taste it anymore. I am just so depressed and so tired of thinking and feeling and there's nothing else I can do to stop the way I am feeling or thinking at the time. It is destroying my life, although my life is pretty much destroyed because of severe depression anyway. Does anyone use alcohol to carry out the suicidal thoughts they have when they are sober? I know I was drunk when I attempted both my suicide attempts and feel I could easily carry out a 3rd one when I drink. How do you guys deal with alcohol and severe depression?