Severe depression bouts daily..

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by jimk, May 21, 2012.

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  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    have had to fight this forever.. middle of afternoon the downs start slipping in.. by 6pm just want the whole world to stop and let me off.. shortly afterwards we take our pills and just hope get sedated enuf soon to go to bed.. pills are mighty so far and able to get some sleep then.

    wake at midnight or 1 and the antidepressants are working again.. all the things i wanted to give up and chuck feel differently then.. as my signature says each morning is a new beginning.. thank you lord.. have tried experiemnts thru shrink about cutting pills and spacing but then did not sleep as well..

    have mentionhed this to therapist tara but as usual have kept my happy face on with her as uusal.. well yesterday evening i called the hmo's consulting nurse and let the cat out of the bag.. ma'am i go thru bone chilling adn blood curdling heavy depression every evening.. told her i will never hurt myself or take my life cause cannot hurt johnny but i need some help rtite fucking now.. well this was sunday evening.. resources are at bare bones then.. pat the nurse suggested calling the county crisis line.. well i do call the crisis lines to talk to my friends there but i call early in the morniong while feeloing ok.. told pat i will be ok aand not going to call the criisis line in my current moods.. things could go really wrong now with that..

    well pat put in a message to my psychiatrist about what was said.. think time to ask doc grumer if in addition to my 45mg of remeron at bedtime could i get a script for 15 pills of the 30mg also which i split and take 15mg at about 8am.... i have to break this cycle now... i will always keep a going but it is very hard...

    time to pay the $1000 visa bill and put in th emailbox.. then at 8am call mental health center and see if doc is htere today.. if yes say in a email what i have sadi here.. doc g has kinown me forever .. just not hurt me scream help yet.. seems to day is the day for that..
  2. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

    So sorry that you have to go through this Jim. I also knows what it feels like to have the crushing depression. It sucks. I hope everything with the psych goes well, and that you some relief.

    :hug: to you and Zoomies

    Let me know if you need to talk.

    -Jason and Tommy Tom
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Heya, jimk, just to let you know that you're in my thoughts and I hope you find some relief. PM me anytime, if you want to talk. :smile: :hug:
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It sounds very difficult but also sounds like it is controlled part of the day - could be as simple as adding and afternoon pill or switching to an extended release formulation - hopefully they will find something to help....
  5. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    lightbeam, acy and NYJmp thanks for caring .. it really helps.. after a phone call with med nurse who has no authority and an exchange of emails with doc , i got approval to do the 45mg at bedtime and 15mg more about 8am.. waiting to hear doc submitted the script for the 30's but got 6 or 7 old 30mg tabs so will start tomorrow morning.. at least now i am hopeful.. why did i struggle with this for so long before yelling help??? oh
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just saw this and sure hope you continue to be honest with people who can help you...that way they can best judge what you need...and also so glad you shared with about getting a support circle of ppl here who care and that way you know you can call ppl at that hr? It is important to also consider yourself...Zooms is important, but so are you...much fondness
  7. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    been five mornings now htat i have taken the additional 15mg of mirtazapine... is helping.. sometimes in afternoon i still get twinges of little bit down but not the horrible episodes like before.. feel good that i asked for some help and seem how to have gotten that help.. monday mornign will email doc grumer and let him know how it is all going..
  8. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Aw, now why did you have to go and mention the name Tara for? :sigh:

    Well, there is really nothing I can say that has not been said before by others here either through words or actions, but I trust that you will find your feet again one day.
  9. letty

    letty Banned Member

    jimk I am glad you are feeling a little better, i am battling these bouts of depression also .hang in there, i am glad you spoke up and got the help.
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