Severly depressed

[Mattmatt]

I dont how to say that I'm not in control of my thoughts anymore. It's very complicated. All I can say is my life isn't going to last to much longer do to losing my insurance and unable to stay on my meds.

I've been off my meds for about 4 days now and got to say I feel like I'm in a bloody war with myself. All I think bout is being put down by family and how everyone wats me to disappear for good. These thoughts are severly painful mentally and physically and something that's is scaring me alot. I'm stuck in a corner wondering if I'm going to make it through this another day or night cause everyday this week has gotten worse. I'm not eating or sleeping and working 12 hour days in the heat. Im feeling like I'm not make it much longer.

My family isn't supporting or helping in anyway wat so ever and at first I thought I would be fine but found out I wont make it through this alone. My days are limited of wat I can take. I'm worried of wat i will do without the help i know i need but dont have were to turn. I'm all alone on this and dont feel like it wouldnt matter if something happened to me. In many ways I feel many people would be happy. I really dont want to lose myself but my thoughts and pain I going through is unbearable and only getting worse.

I only ask and people to hear this cause I think I'm running out of time and hope if my family see this maybe they will understand I just need allittle help and support instead of throwing me in the ground. No matter wat I would never do that to someone and really wish I knew how to get through this alone cause I'm scared and dont know wat to do or who to go to.

If someone can please talk to me to maybe try and help or even yo get these thoughts out of my head cause I dont want to die. Please

 

[Champagne]

Heya, i'm so sorry you are feeling this way and going through so much mental turmoil and anguish. Its not fair

You mentioned that your family don't support you but I feel the need to ask you, have you been completely honest with them about how you are feeling? If they realise how far deep in the mud you are they may be inclined to try and offer more support.

Keep talking to us here okay. You are NOT alone Support IS here and you are not a burden on anyone.

Oh by the way, what is the story with your medication? Can't afford it? Withdrawal? Did not help?

Withdrawal can REALLY screw with your mind so do not make any rash decisions when feeling this way.

Wishing you the best and SF is here for you.

 

[Lost and alone 1968]

I dont how to say that I'm not in control of my thoughts anymore. It's very complicated. All I can say is my life isn't going to last to much longer do to losing my insurance and unable to stay on my meds.

I've been off my meds for about 4 days now and got to say I feel like I'm in a bloody war with myself. All I think bout is being put down by family and how everyone wats me to disappear for good. These thoughts are severly painful mentally and physically and something that's is scaring me alot. I'm stuck in a corner wondering if I'm going to make it through this another day or night cause everyday this week has gotten worse. I'm not eating or sleeping and working 12 hour days in the heat. Im feeling like I'm not make it much longer.

My family isn't supporting or helping in anyway wat so ever and at first I thought I would be fine but found out I wont make it through this alone. My days are limited of wat I can take. I'm worried of wat i will do without the help i know i need but dont have were to turn. I'm all alone on this and dont feel like it wouldnt matter if something happened to me. In many ways I feel many people would be happy. I really dont want to lose myself but my thoughts and pain I going through is unbearable and only getting worse.

I only ask and people to hear this cause I think I'm running out of time and hope if my family see this maybe they will understand I just need allittle help and support instead of throwing me in the ground. No matter wat I would never do that to someone and really wish I knew how to get through this alone cause I'm scared and dont know wat to do or who to go to.

If someone can please talk to me to maybe try and help or even yo get these thoughts out of my head cause I dont want to die. Please

Lost man
I feel you. I was there a few days ago myself.
Go to the hospital emergency room. They can help get back on your meds.
You are not alone in this. We are here to help you hold you.
Just please get the ER.
Hugs

 

[Walker]

hi, I know you don't necessarily realize it but what you're describing here is the deep depression resulting from being off your medication. You cite that losing your insurance is what is preventing you from filling that. Do you want to say what you are supposed to be taking?
Do you qualify for expanded medicaid? (37 states & DC have it so the line at which people qualify is much higher than it used to be) You could then get medical and prescriptions.
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. No one here wants you to hurt yourself okay? If you need to go to a hospital then let's do that. But get some help. Keep talking.
Matt

 

[SkyTree]

We don't want you to disappear! And you're not alone in this. You have us! No one would be glad you're gone. You can talk to me if you'd like to.

 

[Wispiwill]

You're not alone

 

[KM76710]

This is a great place to share your story and plenty of folks here willing to listen and if they have any to offer advice. Stick around with us.

 

[Lara_C]

I hope you've got help @Lostman35 . We're here for you too.

 

[Mattmatt]

I'm running into brick walls everywhere i go. I didn't go to work today and boss is really mad at me cause I've been trying to get help but I'm not succeeding like usual. My wife doesn't even want me talking on here but it helps alittle cause my mind is over powering. She dont think I'm serious and thinks I'm over exaggerating but its wat is going through my head that is overwhelming me with thoughts I dont want. But maybe she is right I need to just say screw myself until it pushes over and forces me into something I cant undo. I have no choice anymore I'm on my own. I'm sry and you guys are hear and do appreciate it but I'm in no shape form mentally stable and dont see me getting far. I'm sry I failed you guys and everyone that tryed but it's all bout time now. I'm scared it's to late and there is no help for me. There will some people who will be glad they dont have to hear say I need help anymore hear bout my thoughts that RIP apart everyday. Like said I'm sry guys and wish I was stronger and could did myself. Everyone is right it might be my meds withdraw it's very unbearable and dont know were to turn. I'm worthless and can see that.

 

[Wispiwill]

Your pain is yours. No one can tell you how bad it is. Only YOU know that.

And you haven't failed. All the while you're still alive - you're succeeding.