Sex and what it means

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by GoldenPsych, Mar 9, 2008.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Ok, prob a subject that shouldnt or isnt discussed but I am having problems with my bloke and dont know what it means. every time we sleep together I get this feeling of guilt afterwards as though we have done something wrong- we are in a perfectly normal relationship - as in there is nothing that that os wrong etc. I don't get it, we have been together nearly 7 years now. We didnt sleep with each other for a while but recently we have been doing. Is it my depression or is it the relationship. I love him so much and want to be with him, marry him and have kids with him.

    I dont get why i feel like i do.

    Maybe it might be the medication that I am on...who knows!
  2. Sylar

    Sylar Well-Known Member

    maybe it's just that you think it's time for a serious relationship now ?
    I don't think you'd feel the same "guilt" if you were husband and wife
  3. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    In todays culture it is perfectlyh normal to enter in to sexual relationships before marriage. You may not feel that it is correct to wait until marriage maybe a of religious or moral reasoning however there are many people who would disagree with your view point!
  4. Sigur Rós

    Sigur Rós Member

    Maybe as the two of you didn't sleep together at first, it seems like a big step for you, and that maybe what you're doing is wrong as it's different to how you used to be. This shouldn't be the case though, maybe it is the medication, maybe you are just analysing the situation too much? Try and let go, and just let whatever happens, happen.

    I agree with you, your relationship is perfectly healthy, and you should try and focus on the positives, that you have a partner who obviously means so much to you. :smile:
  5. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    No we did, what I meant was we had a period of time for a bout a yr where it wasn't a regular thing. We have been sleeping together since about 6 weeks after we got together. But now it feels weird. Which is what I dont get. I think it may be the medication as it does decrease your sex drive. As for being not man and wife I think it is a load of crap, not to put down other peoples views but I believe when you are ready you are ready.
  6. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    if your on ur medication it can affect ur sex drive and course other problems.

    have u tried talking to ur partner about how u are feeling? he could feel the same way...try take things more slowly if it has been a while, u may have to try and understand each others bodies again?

    what ever you do dont give up, if yas have been together for 7 years it most be worth holding on to and working out, these feels may just disapear in time

    good luck
  7. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    Why is this in the crisis forum?? Is there not a more relevant sub-forum that can be used?? Prehaps one regarding depression/medication/relationships.
  8. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    It sounds like you don't really believe it when you defend sex outside of marriage. And you know what? No one does. So lose your oh-so-superior attitude and face the facts as your gut is telling you.
  9. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    What a load of crap!!!! It is a natural thing to engage in a sexual relationship with someone why should you wait until you are married. Who are you to tell me what I believe when I have said that it doesn't bother me and I doon't think it is wrong! It is not as though I have gone out there and slept with loads of one night stands - yeh there has been the odd one when we went through a stage of break up. We are in a loving relationship and one day we will settle down and have kids. Why should I feel guilty as we are not doing anything wrong!
  10. music_addict

    music_addict Well-Known Member

    Your not doing anything wrong and dont let anyone tell you otherwise (i assume your both of legal age). The people who are saying you are wrong and bad, like nedflanders, are probably just jealous or some over zealous religious fuck.

    Sex between two people who truly love eachother is a wonderful uplifting experience and can bring a relationship to a much more higher level of understanding and compassion. It doesnt matter if you are married or not, all marriage is is pretty much a binding legal contract. A relationship can flourish and be wonderful with or without marriage.

    You said you were dating for several years before you slept with him? It could be that perhaps you got accustomed to a non-sexual relationship with him, so when you took it to the next level it caused you to feel strange because it was something new that you werent accustomed to doing with him.
  11. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    Goldenpsych, its the same old people using a platform of making other people feel like shit to feel superior. Please dont even acknowledge it, its not even worth it.

    Maybe you feel guilt because your relationship has changed level. Me and my partner have been together nearly 7 years, and we have no intention at all to get married, and we are also in a healthy relationship. However, when i changed meds i got the same feelings.

    Maybe its linked to your past? have you felt this guilt ever before?

    Whatever the root cause, take things at your own pace. I am sure your other half wont mind if you slow the pace down a bit until you feel happy and comfortable, just please remember, what you are doing is natural and normal, and you have no need whatsoever to feel shame xx
  12. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Thanks - I think there has been some misunderstanding - we slept together aout 6 weeks of being together and everything was fine about a few years then last year when we weren't "officially together" we didn;t sleep with each other. Now every thing is fine and dandy - a part from he is not even in the contry at the moment and I am really missinhim.
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